Well Brette Favre won what really should be his last game at the fabled Lambeau Field the other day. That is about the best line he is going to get in this post because it was a stinker! Take the win Brett, the leap into the arms of teammates, and go home. I mean the score was 9 to 7 for Pete's sake and he really looked bad doing it. Even after this performance he still says he is thinking about having another shot at it next year. Hey Moron, look at the writing on the wall!
What does he stand to gain by playing another year? He does not need the money - heck I am sure he gets more than the rest of us just from DVD Sales and rebroadcasts of 'There's Something About Mary". Add to that all the countless frozen brain cheeseheads with life sized Brett posters on their walls and Favre jerseys on their backs. Somebody needs to sit him down and show him some film from earlier this year to jog his memory and if he does not decide to retire on the spot, they should put him in a straightjacket!
My guess is that when he is sitting in his film viewing room making his decision, he is going to pull out that game from Monday night against the Raiders a few years ago, you know, the one after his Dad died. That game was fucking incredible - and I am a Raider fan! He was under a lot of pressure and throwing into very tight coverage and somehow threw several balls that could only be described as perfect to beat the crap out of the Raiders. It was really something to watch - I have to admit the guy has a frigging cannon on his arm!
But at the end of the day he is already one or two seasons past where he should be out of the game. If he could speak, he would follow smarter quarterbacks into the broadcast booth, but alas I think that the years of eating pork rinds and chewing tobacco, along with some nasty shots to the head, have diminished his communications skills.
Now for the beer. I have been musing about what type of beer best fits my vision of Brett at this stage, and it has to be a really stinky beer with a bad aftertaste. My previously mentioned Caguama is well above this level, so it stands clear of this stench but there are a couple of candidates:
- Tecate - I live about 90 minutes from the brewery in Mexico that makes this putrid crap and My thought is that if we really want to seal off the border we should start there. Have you ever had a not-so-cold Tecate in a can? UGH! Total crap. I mean, if you have to shake some salt and squeeze some lime into your can of beer you really ought to find another beer.
- Heineken - Some of you dingbats out there may disagree with my thoughts on this beer because it is marketed as some sort of uber beer from Europe that is for the upper levels of society. What total fucking dribble that is! Have you smelled one of these skunk pots before? All I know that when I was learning how to brew beer there were a few rules - never use green bottles and if your beer smelled like a skunk it had gone bad! A friend of my wife brought over a 6 pack some time ago and left 5 of them in my garage fridge. Every now and then I would be out of my staple beer and would decide to give one a try. Upon opening the stench takes me aback every time but the taste - what could be worse? Each and every bottle was poured out into the bushes, for which they have not forgiven me yet!
- Iron City Ale - Sorry Steelers fans, this beer is SHIT. I was in Pittsburgh on business and pulled into the airport bar and said, when in Rome drink as the locals do. The bartender said that Iron City was everyone's favorite. Well it tasted like A can of Tecate that had been soaked in cat piss! I could not finish the damn thing. A few months later when back on the East Coast, one of the locals convinced me that it must have been just that keg at the airport and bought me another. WRONG - same thing, a frigging putrid wasteland of beer. My guess is that people in Pittsburgh must have mouths full of iron slag in order to stomach this crap!
Do you have a least favorite beer? Click the comment button and let me know. Perhaps we can take the top choices and have a taste, or should I say gag, test to see what is the worst major label beer out there.
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6 comments:
Ahhh, a blog about beer. Before today, I would not even consider chiming in on a blog. But a Beer Blog you say? I am IN!
For starters, you failed to mention Coors Light. I mean for the life of me, I can't understand why folks put themselves through the misery of gagging down one of these silver lined cans of malodorous,vile elixir. The other day, my buddies and were riding our ATV's out in the desert and had been riding for about an hour when we decided to take a break. One of them had a cooler on his rig and he said it was full of "beer". My excitement turned to tragedy when he pulled out a couple of cans of, you guessed it, Coors Light. I promptly cooled off my forhead with the cold can and then poored the beer out on some unlucky innocent yucca bush. The only good thing about Coors light is that you can pick out the yuppy asshole cheesedicks at any bar by the "witty" "frost brewed" "special lined" can in their hands.
Thanks, I needed that!
Thank you Rage Pirate! You are the first to leave a comment on the Beer & Football blog! I agree with your dissatisfaction with all things Coors and I will dedicate an entire post to dissing the Golden CO Piss water. I myself have been confronted by the same brainless drinkers of this "beer" and to a man they are all mamby pambys.
First of all, I couldn't agree with you more about Favre. Secondly, what a novel idea, comparing Brett to a beer....BRILLIANT!!! Anyway, I get your comparison, but I would say Brett is more of a highly over hyped and talked about Beer...not necessarily bad, just way too much press....I would say Brett is more like a 12 ounce bottle of Bud Light: A very beer that has been around for a while...but I've honestly had way too many of them to even realize what they taste like. Thanks for the interesting post man!
Well Scott, I am not sure what a "very beer" is but when I get to the back end of an 18 pack I start saying shit like that too! I concur: Bud Light is the best beer for mass consumption out there and I have the Christmas cards from AB to prove it! Me and my two neighbors can put away more beers that our wives can imagine in a single NFL game (especially night games). Thanks for Chiming in to Beer and Football - tell your friends and like minded enemies as there will be more good stuff to come!
ha ha, "very" beer was a typo of the "very" nature that you described. I'm gonna link your story on my site.
I must say that it is a rare day that I meet a beer that I don't like. In fact, I have been known to chortle many a brew that a more discernable palate (such as your's Tomzo) might find distasteful (i.e. Caguama and Heineken - I actually like the swill). That being said, it was many years ago through peer pressure and public humiliation that I adopted Bud Light as my staple malted beverage.
Unfortunately my wife likes Miller Light. Consequently, when I visit my local grocery store I am forced to purchase both products. Now I drink waaaaay more than my wife, so when I run out of Bud Light I end up choking down the rest of her Miller Light as well. I really do not like the taste of Miller Light - Their slogan is that Miller Light has more taste than Bud Light - yeah, more BAD taste. MGD sucks too. However, I find Miller High Life and High Life Light refreshing and delightful at times. Coors yelllow can good, Coors Light nasty.
When it comes to Mexican Cerveza, Tomzo is right Tecate might be the most Wretched sewer water ever created. My top 3 Mexican beers are as follows:
1. Negro Modelo
2. Bohemia
3. Dos Equis Amber
Thank you for creating this site, I will enjoy wasting more of my company's time blogging on and weghing in.
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