John Madden to take over Raiders?

I had a chance to speak to one of my longtime football friends who is well placed in the sports scene in Oakland. He had recently attended a function that was also attended by many well placed persons surrounding the Oakland Raiders organization. Needless to say, I won't be giving any names here so this post should be placed in the rumor category..

Anyway, according to my source, one of the reasons that the Raiders have done so poorly of late is not interference from Al Davis (as I had previously reported) but the exact opposite. Mr. Davis' health is declining to the point where he is not in full control over the organization as he has for decades. He no longer attends practices, which is a big change for arguably the most involved owner in the NFL. His absence has left a power vacuum in Oakland that several individuals are exploiting for personal reasons to the detriment of the franchise. This may be the type of activity that Coach Shell alluded to a while back.

Anyway, Al's son apparently has no interest in taking the reigns from his dad so the team needs to find someone else to run the ship. This is where it gets interesting. According to my source, there are high level negotiations going on between the Raiders and John Madden about Madden taking over the team from Al Davis. You heard it right - friggin John Madden running the Raiders. Sound impossible - perhaps but there are some reasons that it may be true:

- Al and John go way back and John has always stayed involved with the Raiders

- John has been travelling by bus week after week all over the country for years and years as a broadcaster and perhaps we wants to stay put somewhere for a little while.

- John would be a very charismatic owner and could probably entice top notch coaching talent back to the Raiders in a way that Al could never do.

You take this for what it is - a rumor. But if this pans out, you heard it here first!

Now for some beer talk. I guess in the spirit of Al Davis, only one beer comes to mind and it is from right here in San Diego County. Stone Brewing's Arrogant Bastard Ale is about as hard core as beer gets. Even their web site mocks the drinker - here is an excerpt from the conditions that you must agree to just to get to the Arrogant Bastard page:

In consideration for the permission to view the Arrogant Bastard Ale pages, I indemnify the publisher, the service provider and the Stone Brewing Co. from any insults, insecurities, and ego damages incurred by the viewing or retrieving of such materials by me.

If you have ever had this beer, you know that it packs a whallop! One of the reasons that I compare it to Al Davis is their motto:

Hated by Many - Loved by Few

Stone Brewing has many other fantastic beers that may be more suitable for most of you out there. Myself, I can drink the Bastard, but only one or two per evening because apparently I am only partially worthy...

Christmas Beer and Christmas Luck

Play like dog crap and still win - I guess that is the moral of this story! Denver did not play a really bad game, but they let the Bengals drive down to tie the game in the last minute - at home! C'mon, that is the Raiders stock in trade - giving in to opponents in the 4th quarter! But to win the game on a botched PAT - that is the definition of luck as the success rate for PATs in the NFL is around 96%. I guess you have got to back your way into the playoffs somehow......

The real killer was the Charger game. Philip Rivers once again had made Pro Bowl Voters wonder what they were thinking as he looked TERRIBLE! Once again, LT saved his bacon with a big first half run (did he look tired to you too?) and set up his one and only pass completion of the first half. Yeah, yeah, it was for a TD, but god he looked bad!

So then the Bolts are trailing the whole way to the Seacocks in a very hostile environment. I can personally attest to the noise in that place as I went up there for the Raiders debacle. Those people in Seattle are either insane or drink way too much coffee because I wanted to put my fingers in my ears it was so loud but since I had on Raider colors and was being mercilessly harassed I did not want to pour fuel on the fire for the drunk asswipe behind me.

Anyway, somehow the receiver gets wide friggin open - what the hell happened to the safety - and Rivers hits him for the go ahead touchdown. The images of Rivers running down the field bewildered that he had completed the pass tell it all - dumb luck. Seems to be a lot of that going around for the bolts this year - watch out because that shit don't fly in the playoffs!

Now for some beer talk. Being the day after Christmas I want to reflect on a strange artifact of the beermaking world: Christmas Ale. I see this pop up every year in stores. Some wacked out micro (or not so micro) brewer comes out with his version of "Christmas Ale". Invariably, this means that the beer is "spiced" with ginger or some other shit. What the fuck?? Why ruin my beer by putting something like that in it? If you were holding a ping glass of regular beer and I walked up and dumped some random spices into it would you drink it? Hell no, you would kick me in the nuts and get another glass!

I mean, guys don't like spiced or otherwise altered beer - period. If you are male and you like spiced beer, I would take a closer look between your legs because what you call a dick is actually just an illusion - you are a GIRL! My younger brother began brewing beer some years ago and his first batches had everything but the fucking kitchen sink in there. Cranberries, pumpkin, nutmeg - what the fuck? This beer tasted like a disaster and was intolerable. Thankfully he has seen the light and now just brews with water, malt, and hops - phew!

So if you found yourself humming a merry Christmas tune while sipping a spiced beer from a holly decorated Christmas glass this year, let me know and I'll put you on my list for a subscription to Ladies Home Journal for next year.

If you think you know of a Christmas beer that is worthy of consumption, post a comment and let me know....

Brett - PLEASE RETIRE!

Well Brette Favre won what really should be his last game at the fabled Lambeau Field the other day. That is about the best line he is going to get in this post because it was a stinker! Take the win Brett, the leap into the arms of teammates, and go home. I mean the score was 9 to 7 for Pete's sake and he really looked bad doing it. Even after this performance he still says he is thinking about having another shot at it next year. Hey Moron, look at the writing on the wall!

What does he stand to gain by playing another year? He does not need the money - heck I am sure he gets more than the rest of us just from DVD Sales and rebroadcasts of 'There's Something About Mary". Add to that all the countless frozen brain cheeseheads with life sized Brett posters on their walls and Favre jerseys on their backs. Somebody needs to sit him down and show him some film from earlier this year to jog his memory and if he does not decide to retire on the spot, they should put him in a straightjacket!

My guess is that when he is sitting in his film viewing room making his decision, he is going to pull out that game from Monday night against the Raiders a few years ago, you know, the one after his Dad died. That game was fucking incredible - and I am a Raider fan! He was under a lot of pressure and throwing into very tight coverage and somehow threw several balls that could only be described as perfect to beat the crap out of the Raiders. It was really something to watch - I have to admit the guy has a frigging cannon on his arm!

But at the end of the day he is already one or two seasons past where he should be out of the game. If he could speak, he would follow smarter quarterbacks into the broadcast booth, but alas I think that the years of eating pork rinds and chewing tobacco, along with some nasty shots to the head, have diminished his communications skills.

Now for the beer. I have been musing about what type of beer best fits my vision of Brett at this stage, and it has to be a really stinky beer with a bad aftertaste. My previously mentioned Caguama is well above this level, so it stands clear of this stench but there are a couple of candidates:

- Tecate - I live about 90 minutes from the brewery in Mexico that makes this putrid crap and My thought is that if we really want to seal off the border we should start there. Have you ever had a not-so-cold Tecate in a can? UGH! Total crap. I mean, if you have to shake some salt and squeeze some lime into your can of beer you really ought to find another beer.

- Heineken - Some of you dingbats out there may disagree with my thoughts on this beer because it is marketed as some sort of uber beer from Europe that is for the upper levels of society. What total fucking dribble that is! Have you smelled one of these skunk pots before? All I know that when I was learning how to brew beer there were a few rules - never use green bottles and if your beer smelled like a skunk it had gone bad! A friend of my wife brought over a 6 pack some time ago and left 5 of them in my garage fridge. Every now and then I would be out of my staple beer and would decide to give one a try. Upon opening the stench takes me aback every time but the taste - what could be worse? Each and every bottle was poured out into the bushes, for which they have not forgiven me yet!

- Iron City Ale - Sorry Steelers fans, this beer is SHIT. I was in Pittsburgh on business and pulled into the airport bar and said, when in Rome drink as the locals do. The bartender said that Iron City was everyone's favorite. Well it tasted like A can of Tecate that had been soaked in cat piss! I could not finish the damn thing. A few months later when back on the East Coast, one of the locals convinced me that it must have been just that keg at the airport and bought me another. WRONG - same thing, a frigging putrid wasteland of beer. My guess is that people in Pittsburgh must have mouths full of iron slag in order to stomach this crap!

Do you have a least favorite beer? Click the comment button and let me know. Perhaps we can take the top choices and have a taste, or should I say gag, test to see what is the worst major label beer out there.

The Raiders really stink

I guess this needs to be revealed - I am a lifelong Raiders fan. Yes, bring it on, I can take it. We are about as bad as bad gets, at least on the offensive side of the ball. While the Raiders defense is top ranked (#4 in the NFL) our scoring production looks like it will end up under 200 points for the whole frigin year! There are not too many teams that can boast of this acheivement which was most recently accomplished by both the Browns and Bengals in 2000.

Aaron Brooks can run from the rush all right, but he seems to throw picks at the most inopportune times. This is not to say that there is a better time than others to turn the ball over, its just that these guys seem to always kill themselves when they could actually put a drive together.

A couple of games, specifically 3 AFC west games found the Raiders in the lead in the 4th quarter. The stupid Raiders found a way to blow each of those lead and lose by a combined total of less than 2 touchowns.

So what's the deal? I have a few opinions:

- Tom Walsh was pathetic at offensive coordinator. I flew to Seattle to watch the Monday Night game and it was a horror to watch. He would send 2 and 3 wideouts streaking down the field on long routes while the pocket collapsed. There was no short option for passing. Every football fan could see that this was a horrible concept and that it was doomed to fail, yet he kept on doing it. Why, you ask? Ask the man in the white jumpsuit!

- Randy Moss is a quitter. There were many instances where you could tell that he was just not trying. When the game was lost in KC on that interception in the end zone, he just stood there with his hands at his sides while a defensive back stepped in front of him and took the ball. Hit the guy for christ's sake! Try to go to the ball! If Randy does not have the ball dropped right in his hands he just gives up. ANybody want to trade?

- Art Shell is a nice guy - well respected by the players. But what the fuck is he doing? He seems to just stand there and let the game roll over him. I do not see any fire in his demeanor. He seems resigned to losing and I think that the players feed on that attitude on the sideline. Yell a little bit - look interested - do SOMETHING!

- I hate to say it but Al Davis' time has come. Yes, he is in the hall of fame and yes he has 3 rings, but I am confident that he is one of the main causes of our demise. He is super knowledgeable on football, but I think that his mind is a bit gone. He also is way to involved in the day to day, and even play to play, running of the team. I would bet that he instructed Tom Walsh to call those plays - he thinks we can bring back the Mad Bomber! Well those days are over - long gone. The only coach worth a shit that we have had for about 20 years was Chuckie. Chuckie only came over because he was so young that Al was the only guy who would give him the head coach job. No other coach worth his weight in dog shit would touch this job because Al will always be calling in from his booth telling him what to do. Al, step aside, and take Amy Trask with you. We need to recruit winning coaches and until Al dies or goes away we will be screwed.

- Robert Gallery is officially a bust. How many sacks can this #1 draft pick give up - it seems limitless! I say we dump him and his stupid long hair.

There is so much more that I could puke out about the Raiders, but I will spare you for now. It's time to talk about beer. Since I have finished off the Caguama, I am moving back to my day to day beer, Bud Light. Yes, beer purists, Bud Light reigns in our neighborhood. Why? Because it is good, cheap, and you can drink it all day. I bought some beer the other day at essentially the same price that I paid in college back in 1982! Inflation be damned! I will devote another blog post to the merits of Bud Light and to all other wonderful beers as this is a discussion that can go on for some time.

Caguama and the Chargers

Well, the in laws were in town the other day and as usual I got a special delivery from my Father In Law. He works for a beer distributor that handles imports. Yes, I know what you are thinking - "you married the daughter of a beer distributor?" Yes I did and it has worked out fine and over the years I have gotten over my inability to marry a woman whose father owned a brewery. I look at it this way, at least as a distributor he provides me with more variety in beers.

Anyway, the other day he brought over a 30 pack of beer called Caguama that comes from El Salvador. This is supposed to be a Corona style beer, and comes in cans. Further research after the fact indicates that you can get this beer really cheap - under $15 for a 30 pack - in selected stores. Apparently, the Caguama is a term for a turtle. I don't know what knucklehead thought that relating beer to turtles was a good idea, but perhaps that's why El Salvador does not rule the world.

I broke into these beers after I had a few of my more standard beers and I must say that the flavor was not what I expected. I had expected some sort of nasty taste with an aftertaste that follows you around like a wet dog, stinking up the place. Along with my drinking partners, we found that there was a distinct lack of flavor. We proceeded to pound about 20 of them while watching the Charger game on Sunday night.

Later in the week, I had the opportunity to try another, this time without the benefit of any sort of pre-comsumption beers. This time, the first taste gave me that familiar nasty taste that we all come to expect from bad Mexican beer. Yes, I know this is El Salvadoran, but as I recall during the Rodney King riots the Mexicans blamed all the looting on El Salvadorans, so at some point I think that they are behind this beer as well.

Well it took some effort to get that first one down, but I did. The next 5 or 6 got progressively better (who would have thunk). I found that the colder these were the better so they all got some freezer time before opening.

I would have to say that of all the wacky beers that he has brought me this one was better than a fair number of them. At least it will be drunk rather than tried and thrown out. I would not buy this beer unless I was in dire straights, stranded somewhere and this was the only option. Perhaps if I am ever in El Salvador I would try it again, but my guess is that they only make this shit for export (a la Fosters) and laugh at foreigners who come down asking for it. I would think that I could buy Bud pretty much anywhere in El Salvador so it would be a moot point anyway. Heck, I bought one in the Guinness Brewery in Dublin, so I figure I could get one anywhere!

Yeah, the Chargers won, despite Rivers trying to throw the game. It is amazing what LT can do for a team. He has not only carried the team into the playoffs, he has carried Rivers into the Pro Bowl as well. There is no way that guy gets in on any other team!

One other note of caution. While we have only anecdotal evidence, it seems that after three of four Caguamas, everybody had the urge to take a shit. I can't say it was the beer per se, but maybe they should rename it Cacaguama instead! Or better yet, perhaps the name "Turtle Head" would be more appropriate!

Welcome to Beer and Football

Greetings football lovers who also love beer! This blog is dedicated to those of us who enjoy copious quantities of each! This may have been only a football blog, but it seems that I spend about as much time with beer (or maybe more) than football. Beer also has no season, so my promise to you is to try and report on many beers during the slow football news months of the year.

I also have a team of like minded people who will contribute with me as you don't really want to hear my opinion all the time - you will want some other lunatic to weigh in from time to time.

This space will be filled from time to time with pointed thoughts on both topics, including:

- My thoughts and comments on the happenings in football, primarily the NFL
- Ramblings, diatribes, and other thoughts on beers and how much we all love them
- The random comment or post on our wacky world at large

I offer no guarantees of timeliness, but I often have strong opinions to share - just ask my wife! As a cautionary note, please know in advance that this blog will contain language that is not for the feint of heart from time to time - it seems that there are some things that are just better said with profanity!

I will post a number of topics in rapid succession this week as the NFL season nears its end and beer is just so wonderful around the holiday season, or any other time for that matter.