Week 3 - That yeasty taste

Another interesting week in the NFL.  Some things change and others stay the same, but the things that are changing - OY!  Alas, gentle reader, you may get an impression that I  somehow favor one team over another in this blog.  If this is the case, how right you are.  It is, after all, my stinking blog!

Patriots - impressive again.  I am not sure what can be done to stop them besides the cruel fate of injuries.  I seem to recall LT getting bruised ribs at the bottom of a pile a few years back - perhaps some of this could be applied to the Pats....

Eagles - and here I was writing off Mr. Piss and Moan Because I Am Black McNabb.  His comments are stupid and proves that he was frustrated by his shitty play.  Frustrated enough to shake it off and throw for a bunch in a 56 point outburst!  Nice game, to be sure, but here is a prediction:  He will get banged up and won't finish the season in this form.  At that point he will become embittered and become a racist.  Again.

Indy - Yes they are 3-0 but not in the same way as the Pats.  A bunch of 2 point wins against people that they "should" kill does not impress me.  These guys are beatable and we will see how they do against the AFC West.  Oh yeah, I hate friggin anyone named Manning.  Even nuns named Manning, actually especially them because they get a chance to take a new name once they take their vows!

San Diego - What can you say about this.  Hmmm, how about looking back at my post from this spring about the dumbasses named Spanos and Smith.  I watched that play that won the game for the Packers and knew right away that had Donie Edwards been in the play it would have gained 10 yards max.  It seems that Smith and Co. complained that his tackles (that led the team for 5 years) were too far off the line.  Hello shithead - at least he tackled them!  Now it seems that the Bolts will do without tackling at all.  Boy that sure works good!  Once Donnie works over the bolts this weekend (I predict 5 solo tackles and an pick), the Bolts will have been beat up by Edwards, Harrison, and Seau  -  all of whom were considered to be expendable.  I'll save the stuff on Norvenstein for another post as that is much funnier.

Oakland - first off the Raiders are tied with the Chargers - take that!  It seems that young Lane Kiffin learned a few things in Denver when Shanafuck stole the game.  He learned how to steal a game using a bogus time out AND he finally pulled shithead McCown out!  For God's sake - why did he wait so long?  What did Daunte do to him?  McCown has small yardage numbers, few TDs, and boatloads of picks PLUS two bum feet.  Yet - it was a W - the first since late October of LAST YEAR!  We can only go up from here and look for an upset in Miami!

Beer

Charger fans - do you know that shitty taste in your mouth?  Well that is the taste that you get from a boatload of yeast in your beer.  Yes, yeast is indispensable in the making of beer.  I have used it to great effect in my own brewing efforts.  But it belongs in the brewing process and not in your beer.  I LOVE Sierra Nevada - LOVE - but I will not drink it from the bottle because these purist fuckheads can't bring themselves to filter that yeast out because they want to finish the beer in the bottle.  Please - save it for the beer snobs.  You know the type - the ones who write shit like this into Beeradvocate.com describing Fat Tire Ale:

Poured a clear, light copper color with a good amount of carbonation and off-white head. Decent lacing. Aroma was rich and malty with a fair amount of biscuit and caramel. Hops were definitely secondary. Fruity, plum-like scent. Medium body. Spicy fruit flavor with plenty of sweet malt. Floral hops were in the background. Mouthfeel was about average. Well balanced. Could use a little more pizazz. Quite drinkable, though, and could be a good session beer, particularly at restaurants with limited beer selections.

What the fuck is that?  Is this queer describing beer or flavored condoms?  C'mon, "Mouthfeel"?  "Gee Frank your crotch smells lovely, like biscuits and caramel - are you using a new wax?"  What is a session beer?  To me a session needs about 20 beers!

Beer should be filtered of the yeast before being presented to the drinker.  Period.

Week 2 roundup - of mice and men (and beer)

Wow - now that was an interesting week.  You think that you have this game figured out and then, wham, everything goes upside down (except the Patriots - more on that later).  There are a lot of 2-0 teams that nobody would have predicted:  Green Bay, San Francisco, heck even Washington!  How about these at 0-2:  Eagles, Giants, Rams, and Saints!  This could be getting good...  here's a recap of some of the games:

New Orleans/Tampa Bay - Boy Drews Brees looked crappy again!  To get your ass handed to you by Chuckie and the gang (who probably last put up 31 points sometime in the last century) is embarassing for a supposed NFC contender.   Drew Brees looked so bad that he rivaled Philip Rivers in offensive futility.   It might be time to get a new stock of paper bags, Saints fans...

Oakland/Denver - All I have to say is that it's good to be the home team and have the ref in your pocket.  Damn - the Raiders WON this friggin game and then lost it.  My 20 seconds of joy was worth it, though because Oakland came into a tough place to win and performed well - Lamont Jordan rushed for almost 160 yards!  I think that young Lane Kiffin finally got an offensive line together in Oakland!  McCown threw some stinkers that could have sealed a win - I think he has to go but apparently Daunte called Kiffin a cracker or something so he is stuck on the pine.

Washington/Philidelphia - I think that the days of McNabb are coming to an end.  He threw so poorly last night that he could give Brees and Rivers a run for their money in bad passes.  If you are an NFC contender, you DON"T LOSE YOUR HOME OPENER!  At least not to fucking Washington.  Brett Farve may have to lead the NFC to their eventual ass kicking in the Super Bowl.

Now my favorite - San Diego/New England - There were some that placed the bolts at the highest echelons of the AFC - right up there with Tom and Peyton's team.  Well you can put that one to bed.  the Chargers stunk it up on both sides of the ball and Rivers was pathetic.  Add to that the abysmal performance of the running game - LT is ranked 39th in rushing so far this year - note that there are only 32 teams so more than one team have TWO players that have run for more than LT!  Heck, Lamont Jordan is #4!  I remember with great pain the days when the Silver and Black had dumbshit Norv Turner plodding on the sidelines.  He got outcoached so badly that even with the other team's playbook in hand he would have gotten beat!

Beers

A day like Sunday was a day for Bud Light.  Yes, I know it is a recurring theme, but for a sustained day of football and beer that extends into the night game, it is the best choice.  I did toss in a nice Newcastle Brown between the afternoon and evening game, savoring the near victory of the Raiders - hey at least we didn't get blown out. 

Week One roundup and Fruity Beer

So it turns out that some things change and others remain the same.  I guess that is a maxim to live by and it certainly applies in the NFL.  Here are some things that have apparently changed:

-  Drew Brees - WTF happened here?  He went from stud last year to looking like a deer in headlights rookie!  He threw some of the worst passes I have ever seen!  Perhaps his lakc of skill was magnified because right after another Brees groaner we would see Peyton whip out a missile right on target, but seriously - he looked BAD.  I hope for his sake that this is just opening day jitters....

-  The Chiefs - We knew that they would not be as good as last year, but losing to Houston, like that?    You saw it on my earlier blog where I pout them at 7-9 and I think that this was being generous!  I think that if they keep this up they could give the Raiders a run for their money for last place!

Some things that have not changed:

-  Peyton and Tom - man these guys looked good.  It is hard to imagine how any AFC team (all of whom could beat any given NFC team) could beat these guys.  I pity the fool that has to play these teams.  I guess the only thing that the rest of the league could hope for are injuries because otherwise this is a lock!

-  The Raiders - yes, as it turns out they still stink, losing at home to the Lions.  Hey, but Kitna was hot right?  It was sad - why did they start McCown rather than Culpepper?  The offense did have a pretty good day (if you ignore the turnovers that killed the game) - McCown was # 3 in passing in the league and the Raiders lead the AFC West in points scored (and points given up).  Jamarcus has agreed to a deal so when the Raiders are 1-8, he may get a touch or two...

Fruit in beer

I recently came across some Miller concoction that has lime juice already squirted in the bottle of beer.  I can think of no abomination greater than this, well maybe a few:  warm Coors, Guiness in a bottle, etc.  First off - DONT PUT FUCKING FRUIT IN YOUR BEER!  I mean, it's beer people, not some sort of springtime fruit platter! So if adding fresh lime to your beer isn't bad enough, this beer has some sort of premanufactured lime concentrate squirted into the bottle on the assembly line.  Nice touch!  Thanks for that refreshing squirt of Citric Acid and sodium benzoate friend!  Can you toss in a little dog shit while you are at it!

It's the MOST wonderful time of the year......

Greetings!

It's that time again and football is right around the corner!  The long wait is nearly over - God I hate baseball (except in October).  Why can't they just move right to the playoffs in baseball for Pete's sake!

I would like to make my predictions on the AFC West at this time.  We can all look back at this prediction in January to see how close I got.

Chargers

Norv Turner will find it hard to repeat the 12-4 record of a year ago.  Even though the AFC West is pitted against the very weak NFC North in interconference play this year, I still think that a record of 10-6 is about as good as they will do this year.  Sure, Phillip Rivers is maturing and the offense is solid, but I think that Jammer and company will let too many big plays down the field and they will lose a few games over this.

Kansas City

With a respectable 9-7 finish last year, I see the Chiefs losing a step this year.  Priest Holmes is gone, and they are being led by Damon Huard of all people with another unknown backing him up.  One injury and this is a team that is heading downhill, regardless of Herm's efforts.  This is an 8-8 team at best.

Denver

these guys could be the real deal this year if Cutler lives up to his promise.  I think that they have shown the ability to get it done over the last few years and may just come out on top.  Mike Bell will be a guy to watch.  I predict that they go 11-5.

Raiders

This is a big question mark, but with the easy NFC North the Raiders should get more than the two wins of a year ago.   Perhaps bringing in another new young coach will make the difference like it did when Chucky came in and took the Raiders all the way to the Super Bowl (one season after he left).  Jamarcus will not play a snap until at least November at this rate but Culpepper looks good from his play in the preseason.  the Raiders defense will continue to dominate and if they can get any offense at all, they will win some games that they lost last year.  I predict at least 2 wins in conference and a record that will be about 7-9.  Take THAT!

Beers

We are having a Labor Day block party today and it is around 100 out and the humidity is uncharacteristically high.  On a day like this there is only one answer - ice cold Bud Light and lots of it.  There is no other beer that I know of that will keep you cool in these situations as well.  Coors light and Miller Lite are just bad and this can be proven by checking the ice chest that was equally stocked with each at the end of the day.  Invariably the Bud Light is all gone and you are left with the swill.

Cheers!