Week Three Recap - The Demise of the AFC

Another interesting week in the NFL has passed with some excellent fodder for those of us who write about such things. The biggest story of the week is the demise of the anointed powerhouses of the AFC, the Pats, the Colts, and to a lesser extent, the Steelers. For you Charger homers I once again wonder just what I need to write about your beloved powder blues to convince even one of you to rebut my statements in this forum. Last week, I called the icon of Charger folklore, LT, a big pussy and not one of you could even take a few seconds to click the comment link and tell me that I am full of shit! I presume that by your silence, I must be right - LT is a pussy. What else could one conclude? The Charger "nation" is full of such weak knee'd, "Dancing with the Stars" loving, girly-men (and manly-women) that you would allow me to trash your team without a whimper! What is up with you losers? Still angry about your overall record against the Raiders (54-40)? Don't know how to type? I took a $5 bet with a Charger fan this week in which I agreed to the bet at the posted spread and the Charger fan in question ( I will spare him the indignity of posting his name here) wanted to shave a point off the spread! What? You Charger fans may think you are hot shit, but deep down, think about it, deep down you know that your team is a loser! Sure, the Raiders have sucked hard over the last 5 years, but at least we had some glory at some point in our history. You are so conditioned to constant failure that you simply have nothing to say - or are afraid to trade written barbs with me. The Formerly Great Patriots I am not sure if this is the right week to delcare this, but why not - the Pats are done! Bill "Viagra" Belichick has done miracles taking team after team deep into the playoffs. hell, his streak goes all the way back to when the Raiders were good. Remember the Tuck Rule play? For you younger Charger fans who think that they got the first bum call two weeks ago, that Patriot team was a good team that got lucky in a playoff game with a bad call from the zebras. They have had a dynasty that put them in the playoffs year after year. It does not hurt to have three truly lame teams in your division, but you have to hand it to them. When the Chargers thought Rodney was too old, they picked him up and he now has a lot of bling on his fingers that he never wound have got with the Dolts. Now, I will say it again, they are done. True, they won a shit load of games in a row but the last two regular season losses have come from none other than Miami! December 2006 and September 2008. Whoa! The big difference is that this last win had a few new features: - They got their asses kicked - in a big way - at home! - Their strategy of taking "veteran" (old) players and making them into stars has finally run its course - Cassell is not Brady - They got their asses kicked - in a big way - at home! I have another prediction - Randy Moss will start to piss and moan before Thanksgiving. This guy only puts out when there is something in it for him. Where I come from this sort of person hangs out on street corners..... Sorry Boss - your Pats are done! Colts and Steelers Ho Hum... These teams look so ordinary it is nearly funny. There is one thing that I share in common with Charger fans - I love to see anyone named Manning suffer. Well we have that joy now in Indy even though somebody needs to shove their knee up Eli's ass and soon! My sack abacus broke trying to keep up with Big Ben's trips to the turf and Peyton will be there soon. Did any of you see the video of the deflation of the old RCA Dome in Indianapolis? Well, as the dome goes, so does the team. Enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sFWoaR03pA&feature=related Chargers Hey! A win! The hapless Brett Farve really should have been reading my blog because if he had he would have hung it up in 2006 as I asked. Other than the early pick, Rivers actually looks competent. Too bad the rest of the team is a bit behind him. Combined with Brett throwing the ball regardless of whether or not someone in a green shirt is nearby, and a few good plays by Rivers, this was a good win - sorely needed! My concern here is that the Dolts still gave up a shitload of points to the hapless Jets. the Defensive Coaching gets to keep their jobs - for now..... Al Davis Must Die OK - I said it. I don't really mean that I want him to die, I just want him to get the fuck out of the way and let some people who are not suffering from dementia run the team! Kiffin may not be the best coach in the league, but he is not the problem here. Al is. The Raiders took the #3 team in the league (according to one ranking site) to the last play of the game on the road! They could have had a chance and the time management at the end of the game was stupifying. Also, the Raiders deployed the same "Prevent Victory" defense that the Chargers have perfected in the first two games of the year. Perhaps they were looking at too much Charger game tape! As you know, I have some sources close to the team. As it turns out, Kiffin and Al have spoken - this week. Al called Layne out on the failure to use the two time outs they had and according to this story Layne felt that they would not have mattered - the D could not stop them anyway. Dead Man Coaching! I respect Kiffin for sticking to his guns, but if this is true he is taking this to a point where the team suffers. It is time for him to go and I have it on inside info that it will happen after the SD game regardless of the outcome. Beers May of my long time readers will recall the many posts that I have made railing against the infusion of anything but beer in beer. Sorry - I like beer and not beer with shit in it! Well last Sunday I drove up to LA for my mother-in-law's birthday in LA (getting there early to watch the Raider game) and we had a BBQ. My kids grandma is a great person with a particular fault - she loves Bud Light Lime! Holy Crap Batman! Lime infused beer? As you know I feel that after trying Miller's version of this I could not conceive of Bud doing it as well. After a long day of familial duties and faced with a hot BBQ and some shitty Pacifico, I decided to try a BLL in the interest of journalistic experimentation. My verdict - it sucks. With that said, it sucks way less than the Miller adventure. You can barely taste the fake lime going down but it leaves quite the aftertaste,although less horrible than Miller's efforts. My suggestion to you idiots that like lime in your beer - take up wine coolers instead. I have one other beer thing to share with you and this is some advice that I got from my boss today and you all should think about what she offers here and take heed: If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $44.00 left. If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left. But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling refund, you would have $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. This is called the 401-Keg Plan There you have it!

Tough Week for the Powder Blues

Week two has come and gone and this is starting to look like last year. Another slow start out of the gate for the Bolts who curiously find themselves behind the Raiders - Again! At least this week we did not hear the snapping of ligaments at quite the same rate as last week...

One more thing - at the bottom of each blog post is a link where you can add your comments. I guess all you Powder Blues must agree with everything I say in this blog because not one of you yellow bellied poor excuses for loyal team supporters has written a word in the defense of your team. Oh, I forgot, your team has no defense....

What Happened to Defense in the NFL?

Take a look at some of the NFL's top teams - SD, Philly, Dallas, and Indy. Between them they have given up an average of 322 yards per game and 25 points per game. LAME! These numbers would be better were it not for San Diego's pathetic defense. In years past I would predict that all of these teams could score their way out of this problem like the Rams used to, but I just don't see it happening. Mark my words, if these teams don't get their D together they will not go far this year!

Did Ed Hochuli Cost the Bolts the Game?

As the recipient of the infamous "Tuck Rule" in the 2002 AFC Divisional Playoff game, we Raider fans can feel your pain out there in Chargerland. Sometimes you get screwed by the refs! But as I have had 6 years to process that snowy game in Foxboro, I have come to understand that the refs can never be given sole blame for a loss. Yes, their actions contribute to the game and in extreme cases like Sunday less informed people might even say that they are the sole blame, but they would be wrong. Here's why Denver won in order of importance.

1. San Diego gave up 31 points in the first half - nice work! Ranked 31st in the league in defense now! These morons cough up an AVERAGE of 5.4 yards per carry and an AVERAGE of nearly 300 yards passing per game. When you suck that bad, don't go blaming the refs

2. San Diego could not stop the Doncos when they needed to. As you may recall, the first interception that Dolt homers claim was not gave Denver the ball at the 29 yard line. The defense then gave up gains of 8, 9, and 10 yards IN A ROW to put Denver at the goal line where they scored. If you had some defense perhaps you could have limited this to a field goal and you would have won the game. By the way, the league has reviewed this call and found that the call on the field would have stood even if the cameras were working so this is a stupid argument for Charger fans to keep talking about.

3. After taking the lead with 4:22 left in the game, Kaeding took advantage of the altitude with another touchback (good game for him for once). The pathetic defense allowed Denver to march ALL THE WAY down the field to be in position to take advantage of Hochuli's error. Hmm, if you were to stop them at any point along the way, its game over. Instead, after one incomplete pass Denver was able to run off plays of 8, 12, 8, 13, 19, and 13 yards - ALL BEFORE The TWO MINUTE WARNING! This is bad defense - don't blame the refs.

4. San Diego could not stop Denver after the infamous call near the end of the game. It was 3rd and goal from the 10 and they scored TWICE in three plays. Hello? Did that last play look at all familiar to you? Looked a lot like the blown coverage up the middle by short d-backs again. If I am game planning the bolts at the goal line I send a tall guy to stand right under the goal posts and its a lock. Again, LAME - don't blame the refs.

I will say that after looking inept and pathetic on offense as well, Rivers actually looked pretty good. Too bad - he could turn into the greatest show on turf like the late 90's Rams and still lose with this defense.


How About Them Raiders??

After looking like shit last week, the Raiders battered the inept KC Chiefs like a red headed stepchild. Using 3 runners, the SIlver and Black put up 300 yards of rushing - the most in many years. McFadden had a coming out party that will be remembered by the Raider Nation for some time. Jamarcus showed that he is indeed a rookie, but with a running game like this - #2 in the league by the way - he will find it an easier way to get his game going. If only Ryan Leaf had such support when he came into the league....

Nnamdi Asomugha was freaking awesome - this guy is a pro bowler for sure. You can bet that nobody is going to be throwing his way for some time...

Ok, OK the Chiefs are bad - really bad. But after losing to each and every AFC West team for years, the Raiders have now beaten the hated Chiefs twice in a row! On the 28th of September, the Raiders face the Chargers to test this running offense against the Powder Blue defense. If the Raiders secondary can step it up, this might not be the blowout that many predict.


LT is a Pussy

There. I said it. It looked like he was getting a friggin pedicure on the sidelines. I am sorry, but after watching him pout during the AFC Fucking Championship game last year, then sit out the entire preseason only to hobble his way around in week one and basically bail on week 2, this is getting old. We saw more of this in soup commercials than in the game - LAME! His toe hurts? What next - roids? Most guys that hobble off but want to play do what men do and go to the locker room where they get shot full of cortisone and other substances that allow them to finish the game and/or season. Is LT such a man - nope. He is now wasting a roster spot and while Sproles did pretty well, that little guy is going to get squished if they go to him as an every down back. As I seemingly correctly stated earlier this year - he is done! Too bad Turner is gone - I bet Spanos is enjoying the fact that he has room on his salary cap, but he won't enjoy losing again and again.


Beers

Good neighbor Pat came across a friggin fantastic IPA from a little brewery in Petaluma called Lagunitas Brewing Company. Unlike many IPAs, this beer was not so bitter that it turned your face inside out. It went very well with football last Sunday, but since the Raiders won and the Bolts lost, everything tasted good! We also had some of their Maximus and it was a bit more robust. For those of you that compare pretty much any beer to Stone beers, these are nearly as flavorful but much less intense, so if you want a great beer and are not quite worthy of Arrogant Bastard, look for Lagunitas.

http://www.lagunitas.com

Week One - Some things never change!

An interesting kickoff week to be sure. There were plenty of upsets and some big injuries. It was great to see real NFL football back in season because preseason games were starting to seem like kissing your sister. Without further ado, here are my thoughts on some notable events in week one:

Brady and the Patriots - Too bad for Tom Terrific and all those who have him as their fantasy quarterback. Brady had 14 fewer points than Jamarcus Russell who had 17 and he's not going to get any more. No, I am not trading! Anyway, he is out for the year and I think that the Pat's will not be as dominant as last year but they were not going to be anyway. They will still likely win their division, but this sure opens things up in the AFC.

Peyton Manning and the Colts - Lame Lame Lame! Peyton's little brother looked so much better it is pitiful. It looks like someone sewed some kryptonite in his friggin undies! He was not confident and indecisive. I think it is directly attributable to not playing in any preseason games. This whole theory that veterans don't need to play in the preseason is bullshit.

The Chargers. You knew it was coming, dear Charger fans. Again, Lame! I don't know who the F*&K is calling the plays there but if LT tries to shove his nose up one more O-lineman's ass, he is going to have to buy them flowers first. When they send him outside he gets big gains, so that offensive genius Norv Turner sends him right at the center's ass time after time. My 6 year old son was wondering what they were thinking! I am not sure about Norv being a genius, but from my experience when he coached the Raiders I can say that he is offensive!

This team is another classic example of sitting their starters in the preseason. They looked totally out of sync in the first half and only started to pull their heads out toward the end of the game. Had they put a few drives in over the last few weeks they would have put 7 or 14 more on the board and probably would have won the game.

Shawn Fucking Merriman - I really hate to be right, but last week I predicted that he would be ineffective and 2 tackles total pretty much defines that. I thought he would last only a few games and it was only one. If he was really a team player he would have gotten the surgery a long time ago and been ready to return sometime late this season - for a playoff run that likely won't happen now. He is a friggin moron.

The Raiders - Man did that stink! It seems that the fued between Kiffin and Al Davis/Rob Ryan is in full swing. Rumors have it that Ryan is sandbagging the D to get Kiffin fired. I am trying to get a hold of my source close to the team to confirm this. Anyway, the defense was pathetic - idiotically pathetic. That waste of money named DeAngelo Hall got burned to a crisp by a rookie - LAME! They threw on him all night with ease and there were only 4 blitzes called by Ryan in nearly 60 plays. How dumb is that.

Jamarcus is a total rookie and lost that fumble when we really needed that score. Other than that he did pretty good for a rookie - at least he had no picks. That kid has a friggin cannon, that's for sure.

Anyway, the Raiders played about as bad as a team can play on defense and made just enough stupid mistakes to get totally steamrolled by the fucking Broncos. We'll see this week if it was the Raiders being that bad or the Broncos being that good after we see how many points the Broncos beat the Chargers by.

Favre - Holy Shit! How lucky is this guy? That first TD was awesome - a great play action pass - he still has an arm! But that second TD pass on 4th and long was a total joke. It reminded me of that Monday night game after his dad died and he was throwing that crap all over against the Raiders and they would all fall into someone's arms by total luck. He just basically heaved that ball up as a glorified punt and got a TD instead. Amazing. I think that the lipstick will wear off this pig soon...

Beers

As many of you know my favorite beer is generally Bud Light, with a smattering of beers like Stone Brewing, Guiness, and other meaty beers. So it is with some anticipation that we await the new Budweiser American Ale. The strange thing about this beer is that they have been marketing the shit out of it and we have not been able to find it yet. So, your challenge, gentle readers, is to get out there and find some and post some reviews. I have a strange feeling that it will suck, kind of like Sam Adams light or something like that. With any luck it will be good, but it is unlikely.

Oh, for you who live in San Diego, you really need to go to the Stone Brewery facility in Escondido. It totally kicks ass for a great place to drink beer although the food is a bit foofy for my taste. My only gripe with the place is that you can't get any Stone beer you want on tap at any time. It seems that they only pour from the tap what they are in the middle of bottling at that time or something so if you want Oaked Arrogant Bastard you are more than likely going to get it from a bottle. Sad...