It has been a strange week here in San Diego, so this week's entry will be brief. The firestorm had direct impacts on me at my work, where the agency that I work for suffered a number of losses and had about 20% of our service area turned to ash. My home was out of harm's way for the most part, although we did get an evacuation warning, but never an order. If this is going to happen every 4 years perhaps we should reschedule it for election year instead - that was the misery of the election season can be punctuated by massive devastation from fires rather than Americans electing a moron to the Oval Office as has happened twice in a row now....
On to football
4th Round Pick - the Raiders shopped and shopped Randy Moss around and the BEST offer they got was a 4th round pick. Hello? This guy is leading the league in nearly every receiving category! I guess if your QB can stand there in the pocket with nary a grass stain on his knee and hurl them up for you all day you have a better chance than on a team that gave up 72 sacks last year. Randy is showing some drive to actually go and get the ball, which was not in evidence when he wore the Silver and Black. At this point the Pats are still unbeatable.
Daunte's Inferno - while it was not all his fault, he gets a lot of the blame for the Raider's loss. It seemed that his vision was limited to 5 or 6 yards down field - every pass was to the outlet receiver from the backfield. The few times he did launch it it worked well - why not do it again, moron? One other thing, as you are driving down for the game winning FG attempt, ball security is not kind of important, it is the only fucking thing you need to focus on. That last pick was a killer.
Beers
I have spent a little time contemplating the right beer for a firestorm and there are a number of factors. How well will the beer wash the ashes out of your mouth? How will it travel with all of your belongings in the back of a truck? What is the availability of more on a moment's notice when people are making a run on the 7-11? Finally, which beer can you drink in sufficient quantity to always have a fire hose in hand, just in case the flames come too close? Based on these considerations, I have ruled out fancy beers and microbrews because they fail in items 2 &3. Bottled beer in general does not travel in as compact a space per unit volume than does cans, so they are out. And when it comes to availability, you got to select what is available at 7-11. The winner (no surprise): Bud Light. Yes, it was rigged....
Friday, October 26, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Week 6 - Just Tackle #21!
Many things occurred last week that were expected and a bunch of stuff happened that was not - oh wait a minute - it all went as expected! The only surprise was a guy older than me tossing a huge TD pass and then springing up to the arms of an O lineman! While I personally wish some things went the other way, many were perfectly awesome!
Peyton Manning - watching his femur break over and over on tape reminded me of the Theisman incident so long ago. I knew it was gross, but I had to keep watching and watching and watching! It was like that scene out of Fast Times at Ridgemont High - you know the one! It was hard not to watch it over and over and over................ uh - er - ugh - hmmm - oh, that was just a dream! Phew, Peyton is intact and was on a bye. It is strange for a Raider fan to hate the Manning family as much as Charger fans, but somehow they just grate on me. His non-stop friggin commercials don't help.
America's Team - I am not talking about the Cowboys here folks - it's new England. If you are an undefeated team and you let another team waltz into your stadium and put up 48 points you had better hand over the friggin tiara! I drove past the stadium in Arlington and from where I was looking that place is a shithole - in fact, from what I have seen of most of Texas, the whole place is a shithole! I think that it is time for America's team to move somewhere else!. Wait a minute, most of the greater Boston area is a shithole too! I think that there is room in the East Bay for America's team, since even though they suck they still outsell both the Boys and the Pats in NFL merchandise nationwide. With respect to the Patriots all I have to say is Fuck - Wow - Only several broken femurs can stop them....
Vinnie Fucking Testaverde! I bagged on him last week, or more specifically the team that chose him, and boy did he perform. I saw that long pass and it was sweet! I think he met the DB on that pass in the parking lot because he bailed on that coverage like a whore in church. Hey, a win is a win - let's see how long 43 year old bones can take the pounding!
Vikings - I never thought I would be writing about the purple menace, but I have to lay it out for Adrian Peterson. Where the heck was the much acclaimed Chicago defense? I gotta say that this guy is the best RB that I have seen come out in some time, and the last will be mentioned later. He's a rookie and he is leading the league in rushing - in Minnesota! Who would have guessed The Vikes have a losing record (take that Steve-o) but if they canput some players around this guy, they may have something.
NEWS FLASH - Cincinnati officially sucks! The only thing worse is the NFC East. Other than the Pats, the remaining 3 teams have a COMBINED TWO WINS! The Raiders have won the same number! It's no wonder the Pats get into the playoffs all the time...
The Saints - Drew Brees is dusting off his shittiness (is that a word - it fits if not) and they are starting to look like the just might have a chance at possibly coming around. I think I hedged like a presidential candidate there. Seriously, they had a nice W last week and did not look like dog shit as they had every other week. I felt so bad for them as the City was rising on their tide and it was looking like they were going to need to have some FEMA bags on their heads again....
the chargers - yeah, I am here to take it - the bolts beat the Raiders again - 8 in a row. FUCK. Did I say FUCK? Oh yeah, I did. Just tackle # 21. You got that Rob Ryan, defensive fucking genius? Just tackle # 21! Just tackle # 21. Just tackle # 21. Game over! What else do they have? Gates - perhaps. .....(sound of crickets chirping).... There's nothing but LT people! Sure , AJ brought in a new guy from Miami who drops more than he catches, but that is next week! Culpepper just fucked the dog here but Ryan and the defense should shoulder most of the blame. I gotta hand it to Norv - LT set him straight in their little talk - "give me the ball Norv or I will run your head so far up AJ's ass you will see Al Davis again"! FUCK! Asses kicked again!
Beers
Wheat Beer Sucks. Yes, you heard it first here - wheat beer sucks. Please see my earlier posts on (1) fruit in beer and (2) filtering beer and you can only deduce that wheat beer sucks. Let's review: It's cloudy. That means that it is not properly filtered. It is generally served with a fucking lemon wedge which violates the fruit in beer rule. Two strikes and you are close to out, but you still have some pitches coming your way. the third strike is the fact that it is made of wheat. Wheat? Isn't that for bread and Wheaties? beer is made of Barley, Hops and for us Bud drinkers, a bit of rice. Wheat is not part of it. I appreciate the fine folks that have only wheat to make some beer, and in this I refer to home brewed African beers that use pots of water, old wheat, and wild yeasts to make something, anything, to get a buzz from. I will give it up to someone who has no choice but to make beer from wheat to consume wheat beer, but those of you with a choice should know better...
On another note, I would like to give a shout out to my wife who, despite the fact that only one male Charger fan in my neighborhood was man enough to attend, she put out a spread for the aforementioned game and even had a girlfriend over to watch my Raiders get their asses handed to them, again. I was not the cheeriest guy during the game as you may predict, and their recitals of passages from People Magazine during the game did not help. Anyway, I have two more games left on my contract this year, so contact me with games you think would be good for a football party. Thanks Sheri!
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Week 5 - Raiders in 1st Place!
Yeah, it is a cheaply won title, due in large part to our bye week, but mostly to the stupid play of the Doncos. But it has been a few years since us Raider fans have been able to say that and depending on what happens on Sunday, it may be a while again. You know, you don't have to come in first in your division to win a Super Bowl as the Silver and Black have proven in the past.
I spent the weekend drinking beer and fishing in the Sierras and our TV coverage was weak, so I did not even watch a single complete game - shocking isn't it. It was pointed out to me by others in attendance that I could watch any game on the NFL network during the week, but could not get back out on that boat on June Lake from Escondido. We got periodic updates, but essentially missed most of the games completely. I am certain that this won't happen again this year.
Here's my recap of selected games:
Cowboys - This game I actually did see most of and I have to say that the friggin 'boys are about as big a pretender as any team that has ever stumbled their way to 5-0. How many complete fuck ups can your QB do and you still win the game? Granted, if you play a team whose offense could not get past the Escondido High School JV team, perhaps you have a chance. the worst thing was the friggin MNF announcers who had their lips planted so tightly on the Bill's collective sphincters that they really looked stupid when Buffalo lost, because they had already anointed the Bill's rookie QB as the next coming. Granted, he did OK for a newb but get your tongue out of his ass Kornheiser, or is that why you got that name?
Carolina - OK, you are 3-2 but you are killing off QBs faster than Ricky Williams snaps bong loads. This is the team that brought David Carr on board from the Texans where he was sacked like one BILLION times and now he gets injured? Has Carolina taken QB abuse to a new level? OK, fine, you need a new backup....let's see, who should we look for. I know, how about Vinnie Fucking Testaverde? There are people who can legally drink in all states that were born AFTER he left college! The guy was drafted in 1987! He is older than me! Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over? I heard that Marino said he could still chuck a ball, and since he is now on Weight Watchers he may be a better choice!
Chargers - It seems that LT had a little sit down with the Norvinator and told him how the dog wags the tail, or at least that is how it was reported in the SD Union tribune. I don't know about you, but any time your RB needs to get the Coach into a closed room to tell him to give the ball to the NFL MVP all I can say is it's time for a new Coach! Even though I had wished for a tie game, I would have taken some satisfaction watching Shanahan squirm on the sidelines getting kick after kick to his balls (if I could get only one shot - I would prefer to put shortie on a stool so I could get proper extension as I sent his prostate a little gift from his scrotum). Sorry, I digress, but that guy pisses me off in a big way! I hope to see his season go down in ruin.
I know some of your Raider Haters who read this are looking forward to this weekend as you expect the FIRST PLACE Raiders to lose big to the Chargers, but get a grip. Last week was an anomaly - you got lucky with a bad Denver team. Let's take a closer look: The first drive I will concede - not too shabby, but the second touchdown was a gift on a special teams play. At that point Jay Cutler had to Throw and you got a pick and it was all downhill from there. Good win for you, but when you add that to the collapse - at home - against KC, I don't see this as a trend.
The Raiders are coming in a bit hobbled as two defensive linemen, Gerrard and Burgess, will not play. But Dominic Rhodes will be there and Culpepper will certainly look to hit some slants as Donnie Edwards is not there to tackle anyone. Some dumbass on my football pool posted a poll wondering how big the point differential will be and the lowest number is 21 - I can assure you that if the Raiders do not win, and I think that they will, the will certainly cover the spread which varies between 9.5 and 10 at this point.
Beers
Something happened the other day that surprised me. I know that I like Bud Light and that it is generally better than Coors Light and Miller Lite, but I never really expected the lesser two beer brands to throw in the towel and merge! When you get down to it, are these beers really that different? Sure Bud Light is best, but Miller Lite has more taste....oh yeah, more BAD taste. OK, I will give you that - Miller Lite tastes bad, but certainly their advertising campaigns could make up for that - you know the ones with the More Taste League commissioner appearing as people try to drink? Oh yeah, that was stupid too. Well you would think that Coors Light would do better, even though it is not as good as Bud Light, right? C'mon, how about some marketing to overcome the foul taste of beer that should be refrigerated at all times that the 7-11 clerk left out in the heat? How about the SECOND year of stupid jokes on coaches by fake spliced in hecklers from the press corps - now that's funny - once - last year.
You have read here on a number of occasions how I prefer Bud Light over all for day to day consumption, but I thought I was just a guy with a preference, not predicting the need for all other major brands to gang together because they just can't compete. I think that this is bad overall, because without competition the commercials can only get worse......
I spent the weekend drinking beer and fishing in the Sierras and our TV coverage was weak, so I did not even watch a single complete game - shocking isn't it. It was pointed out to me by others in attendance that I could watch any game on the NFL network during the week, but could not get back out on that boat on June Lake from Escondido. We got periodic updates, but essentially missed most of the games completely. I am certain that this won't happen again this year.
Here's my recap of selected games:
Cowboys - This game I actually did see most of and I have to say that the friggin 'boys are about as big a pretender as any team that has ever stumbled their way to 5-0. How many complete fuck ups can your QB do and you still win the game? Granted, if you play a team whose offense could not get past the Escondido High School JV team, perhaps you have a chance. the worst thing was the friggin MNF announcers who had their lips planted so tightly on the Bill's collective sphincters that they really looked stupid when Buffalo lost, because they had already anointed the Bill's rookie QB as the next coming. Granted, he did OK for a newb but get your tongue out of his ass Kornheiser, or is that why you got that name?
Carolina - OK, you are 3-2 but you are killing off QBs faster than Ricky Williams snaps bong loads. This is the team that brought David Carr on board from the Texans where he was sacked like one BILLION times and now he gets injured? Has Carolina taken QB abuse to a new level? OK, fine, you need a new backup....let's see, who should we look for. I know, how about Vinnie Fucking Testaverde? There are people who can legally drink in all states that were born AFTER he left college! The guy was drafted in 1987! He is older than me! Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over? I heard that Marino said he could still chuck a ball, and since he is now on Weight Watchers he may be a better choice!
Chargers - It seems that LT had a little sit down with the Norvinator and told him how the dog wags the tail, or at least that is how it was reported in the SD Union tribune. I don't know about you, but any time your RB needs to get the Coach into a closed room to tell him to give the ball to the NFL MVP all I can say is it's time for a new Coach! Even though I had wished for a tie game, I would have taken some satisfaction watching Shanahan squirm on the sidelines getting kick after kick to his balls (if I could get only one shot - I would prefer to put shortie on a stool so I could get proper extension as I sent his prostate a little gift from his scrotum). Sorry, I digress, but that guy pisses me off in a big way! I hope to see his season go down in ruin.
I know some of your Raider Haters who read this are looking forward to this weekend as you expect the FIRST PLACE Raiders to lose big to the Chargers, but get a grip. Last week was an anomaly - you got lucky with a bad Denver team. Let's take a closer look: The first drive I will concede - not too shabby, but the second touchdown was a gift on a special teams play. At that point Jay Cutler had to Throw and you got a pick and it was all downhill from there. Good win for you, but when you add that to the collapse - at home - against KC, I don't see this as a trend.
The Raiders are coming in a bit hobbled as two defensive linemen, Gerrard and Burgess, will not play. But Dominic Rhodes will be there and Culpepper will certainly look to hit some slants as Donnie Edwards is not there to tackle anyone. Some dumbass on my football pool posted a poll wondering how big the point differential will be and the lowest number is 21 - I can assure you that if the Raiders do not win, and I think that they will, the will certainly cover the spread which varies between 9.5 and 10 at this point.
Beers
Something happened the other day that surprised me. I know that I like Bud Light and that it is generally better than Coors Light and Miller Lite, but I never really expected the lesser two beer brands to throw in the towel and merge! When you get down to it, are these beers really that different? Sure Bud Light is best, but Miller Lite has more taste....oh yeah, more BAD taste. OK, I will give you that - Miller Lite tastes bad, but certainly their advertising campaigns could make up for that - you know the ones with the More Taste League commissioner appearing as people try to drink? Oh yeah, that was stupid too. Well you would think that Coors Light would do better, even though it is not as good as Bud Light, right? C'mon, how about some marketing to overcome the foul taste of beer that should be refrigerated at all times that the 7-11 clerk left out in the heat? How about the SECOND year of stupid jokes on coaches by fake spliced in hecklers from the press corps - now that's funny - once - last year.
You have read here on a number of occasions how I prefer Bud Light over all for day to day consumption, but I thought I was just a guy with a preference, not predicting the need for all other major brands to gang together because they just can't compete. I think that this is bad overall, because without competition the commercials can only get worse......
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Week 4 - Well What Do You Know?
We are at the quarter pole folks and things are getting interesting. Certain things that seemed to be plain out of place are starting to solidify into trends. Some of us are pleased while others are left to scratch their heads. All in all it makes for some good entertainment! Some of my thoughts on the week:
Patriots - while they kept it close initially, the Pats did what they always do and adjusted their game to take it to their opponents in the 2nd half. This is what you call coaching - start off with a game plan, make adjustments based on your opponent's reaction to your plan, and kick some ass! (Norv Turner has no idea how to do this, but that is no surprise). These guys are 4-0 and have outscored their opponents 148 to 48 - a difference of 100 points! This is incredible as the next highest total difference is the Cowboys at 79 and nobody else is even close. The Chargers you ask? they are -34, having been outscored handily by powerhouses such as KC.
Packers - I really must take a moment to make a retraction of a post that I did last year about Brett Favre where I told him to retire. He ignored me as he always does (he never returns my calls!) and has shown that he still has some game left in him. Crap, that guy can deliver a ball fast. I mean, one second the ball is in his hand at his side and the next it is 30 yards down filed stinging someone's hands. Fast, decisive action is needed to get the ball where it needs to be in this league and Brett certainly has it. Whether the Pack can continue beyond 4-0 is uncertain, but they are a scrappy team.
The Eagles - Hmmm, eggs in a carton, jurors in a room, months in a year, sacks of McNabb last week. What do all of these have in common? the number 12! Twelve fucking sacks? And one guy got 6??? I have not seen pass coverage this bad since the Charger line basically gave Ryan Leaf up to the wolves because they did not like him. Perhaps Donavan has pissed off his O-line or something because I don't think that the Giant's defense is that good as they now have a grand total of 16 sacks for the year. Hmmm, Donavan spouts off, has a good game, and then gets crushed. I am not sure what to make of it, but I am sure that time will tell on this one. One thing for sure, the Eagles will not see the postseason.
The Raiders - You knew it was coming, and here it is! The Silver and black have now equaled last year's win total at the quarter pole mark with a nice ass kicking in Miami. Little Layne Kiffin finally started Culpepper and he showed that he is a winner. He did not have to throw much as the Raiders #1 ranked running game took care of Miami's weak defense handily. He did show that his knee is fine and made sure that the fans in Miami knew it after his second of three rushing TDs. It was nice to see Jerry Porter haul in a few scores as well because if he is on he will rival Moss in talent (if someone simply throws the ball to him accurately). From where I sit, I think that the odds when the Raiders come into SD in two weeks will be much closer than bolt fans would like.
Chargers - Wow- what a fucking disaster! I knew the the norvinator was bad, but this is pathetic! His inept play calling has highlighted the weakness of San Diego's offense. What weakness you say? The glaring weakness that is the fact that unless LT has his hands directly on the ball you are screwed. Period. The facts for this argument are present in abundance. Even before Norv inexplicably withheld the ball from LT in the second half the Bolts only managed a meager offensive output - at home - against fucking KC! Watch out when Dominic Rhodes rolls down there with the Raiders, hungry for yards after a little league mandated vacation. I think that we may even see a little pissy slap fight on the sidelines between LT and Rivers if this keeps up! I also have one more prediction: At some point on Sunday, the TV cameras will pan over to Turner and he will have a look on his face like he is trying to remember where he left his car keys, or whether he wanted to order tofurkey or salmon for his thanksgiving day dinner.
Beers
I got a bit of feedback from last weeks comments about yeast in beer. Most agreed with me that it made the experience of drinking the beer less than agreeable if not totally fucked. One commented that it increased his flatulence, sometimes to uncomfortable levels. A few however, challenged my manhood and one went so far as to say that Sierra Nevada is meant to be drank straight from the bottle and those who decant it are wimps. All I have to say to that is go right ahead dumbass and suck up that yeast - just keep your gassy self away from me!
I will be fishing in the Sierras with some other jackasses this weekend and will probably have one or two beers - okay, maybe more than two! It will be nearly freezing the entire time, so in addition to the copious quantities of Bud Light, I think that some Guinness will be in order. Guinness is something that I really came to love during my 10 day stay in Ireland in 2005. When poured correctly, there may be no better beer. People think it is heavy, but it only has 10 more calories than a bud Light per serving. And it is so fucking good. Some people think that you can't drink it as an all day (night) beer, but millions of Irish can't be wrong. I can attest that you certainly can drink it just like an American "light" beer, but you need to be at a keg to do it. The Guinness that they sell in bottles ought to be thrown back into the sea and the stuff in the tall cans, while passable, cannot rival a properly poured pint from the tap. Most places don't do it right as it takes two passes to fill a pint and about 2-3 minutes of time. Can you say "Car Bomb"?
Patriots - while they kept it close initially, the Pats did what they always do and adjusted their game to take it to their opponents in the 2nd half. This is what you call coaching - start off with a game plan, make adjustments based on your opponent's reaction to your plan, and kick some ass! (Norv Turner has no idea how to do this, but that is no surprise). These guys are 4-0 and have outscored their opponents 148 to 48 - a difference of 100 points! This is incredible as the next highest total difference is the Cowboys at 79 and nobody else is even close. The Chargers you ask? they are -34, having been outscored handily by powerhouses such as KC.
Packers - I really must take a moment to make a retraction of a post that I did last year about Brett Favre where I told him to retire. He ignored me as he always does (he never returns my calls!) and has shown that he still has some game left in him. Crap, that guy can deliver a ball fast. I mean, one second the ball is in his hand at his side and the next it is 30 yards down filed stinging someone's hands. Fast, decisive action is needed to get the ball where it needs to be in this league and Brett certainly has it. Whether the Pack can continue beyond 4-0 is uncertain, but they are a scrappy team.
The Eagles - Hmmm, eggs in a carton, jurors in a room, months in a year, sacks of McNabb last week. What do all of these have in common? the number 12! Twelve fucking sacks? And one guy got 6??? I have not seen pass coverage this bad since the Charger line basically gave Ryan Leaf up to the wolves because they did not like him. Perhaps Donavan has pissed off his O-line or something because I don't think that the Giant's defense is that good as they now have a grand total of 16 sacks for the year. Hmmm, Donavan spouts off, has a good game, and then gets crushed. I am not sure what to make of it, but I am sure that time will tell on this one. One thing for sure, the Eagles will not see the postseason.
The Raiders - You knew it was coming, and here it is! The Silver and black have now equaled last year's win total at the quarter pole mark with a nice ass kicking in Miami. Little Layne Kiffin finally started Culpepper and he showed that he is a winner. He did not have to throw much as the Raiders #1 ranked running game took care of Miami's weak defense handily. He did show that his knee is fine and made sure that the fans in Miami knew it after his second of three rushing TDs. It was nice to see Jerry Porter haul in a few scores as well because if he is on he will rival Moss in talent (if someone simply throws the ball to him accurately). From where I sit, I think that the odds when the Raiders come into SD in two weeks will be much closer than bolt fans would like.
Chargers - Wow- what a fucking disaster! I knew the the norvinator was bad, but this is pathetic! His inept play calling has highlighted the weakness of San Diego's offense. What weakness you say? The glaring weakness that is the fact that unless LT has his hands directly on the ball you are screwed. Period. The facts for this argument are present in abundance. Even before Norv inexplicably withheld the ball from LT in the second half the Bolts only managed a meager offensive output - at home - against fucking KC! Watch out when Dominic Rhodes rolls down there with the Raiders, hungry for yards after a little league mandated vacation. I think that we may even see a little pissy slap fight on the sidelines between LT and Rivers if this keeps up! I also have one more prediction: At some point on Sunday, the TV cameras will pan over to Turner and he will have a look on his face like he is trying to remember where he left his car keys, or whether he wanted to order tofurkey or salmon for his thanksgiving day dinner.
Beers
I got a bit of feedback from last weeks comments about yeast in beer. Most agreed with me that it made the experience of drinking the beer less than agreeable if not totally fucked. One commented that it increased his flatulence, sometimes to uncomfortable levels. A few however, challenged my manhood and one went so far as to say that Sierra Nevada is meant to be drank straight from the bottle and those who decant it are wimps. All I have to say to that is go right ahead dumbass and suck up that yeast - just keep your gassy self away from me!
I will be fishing in the Sierras with some other jackasses this weekend and will probably have one or two beers - okay, maybe more than two! It will be nearly freezing the entire time, so in addition to the copious quantities of Bud Light, I think that some Guinness will be in order. Guinness is something that I really came to love during my 10 day stay in Ireland in 2005. When poured correctly, there may be no better beer. People think it is heavy, but it only has 10 more calories than a bud Light per serving. And it is so fucking good. Some people think that you can't drink it as an all day (night) beer, but millions of Irish can't be wrong. I can attest that you certainly can drink it just like an American "light" beer, but you need to be at a keg to do it. The Guinness that they sell in bottles ought to be thrown back into the sea and the stuff in the tall cans, while passable, cannot rival a properly poured pint from the tap. Most places don't do it right as it takes two passes to fill a pint and about 2-3 minutes of time. Can you say "Car Bomb"?
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