Week 6 - Just Tackle #21!

Many things occurred last week that were expected and a bunch of stuff happened that was not - oh wait a minute - it all went as expected! The only surprise was a guy older than me tossing a huge TD pass and then springing up to the arms of an O lineman! While I personally wish some things went the other way, many were perfectly awesome! Peyton Manning - watching his femur break over and over on tape reminded me of the Theisman incident so long ago. I knew it was gross, but I had to keep watching and watching and watching! It was like that scene out of Fast Times at Ridgemont High - you know the one! It was hard not to watch it over and over and over................ uh - er - ugh - hmmm - oh, that was just a dream! Phew, Peyton is intact and was on a bye. It is strange for a Raider fan to hate the Manning family as much as Charger fans, but somehow they just grate on me. His non-stop friggin commercials don't help. America's Team - I am not talking about the Cowboys here folks - it's new England. If you are an undefeated team and you let another team waltz into your stadium and put up 48 points you had better hand over the friggin tiara! I drove past the stadium in Arlington and from where I was looking that place is a shithole - in fact, from what I have seen of most of Texas, the whole place is a shithole! I think that it is time for America's team to move somewhere else!. Wait a minute, most of the greater Boston area is a shithole too! I think that there is room in the East Bay for America's team, since even though they suck they still outsell both the Boys and the Pats in NFL merchandise nationwide. With respect to the Patriots all I have to say is Fuck - Wow - Only several broken femurs can stop them.... Vinnie Fucking Testaverde! I bagged on him last week, or more specifically the team that chose him, and boy did he perform. I saw that long pass and it was sweet! I think he met the DB on that pass in the parking lot because he bailed on that coverage like a whore in church. Hey, a win is a win - let's see how long 43 year old bones can take the pounding! Vikings - I never thought I would be writing about the purple menace, but I have to lay it out for Adrian Peterson. Where the heck was the much acclaimed Chicago defense? I gotta say that this guy is the best RB that I have seen come out in some time, and the last will be mentioned later. He's a rookie and he is leading the league in rushing - in Minnesota! Who would have guessed The Vikes have a losing record (take that Steve-o) but if they canput some players around this guy, they may have something. NEWS FLASH - Cincinnati officially sucks! The only thing worse is the NFC East. Other than the Pats, the remaining 3 teams have a COMBINED TWO WINS! The Raiders have won the same number! It's no wonder the Pats get into the playoffs all the time... The Saints - Drew Brees is dusting off his shittiness (is that a word - it fits if not) and they are starting to look like the just might have a chance at possibly coming around. I think I hedged like a presidential candidate there. Seriously, they had a nice W last week and did not look like dog shit as they had every other week. I felt so bad for them as the City was rising on their tide and it was looking like they were going to need to have some FEMA bags on their heads again.... the chargers - yeah, I am here to take it - the bolts beat the Raiders again - 8 in a row. FUCK. Did I say FUCK? Oh yeah, I did. Just tackle # 21. You got that Rob Ryan, defensive fucking genius? Just tackle # 21! Just tackle # 21. Just tackle # 21. Game over! What else do they have? Gates - perhaps. .....(sound of crickets chirping).... There's nothing but LT people! Sure , AJ brought in a new guy from Miami who drops more than he catches, but that is next week! Culpepper just fucked the dog here but Ryan and the defense should shoulder most of the blame. I gotta hand it to Norv - LT set him straight in their little talk - "give me the ball Norv or I will run your head so far up AJ's ass you will see Al Davis again"! FUCK! Asses kicked again! Beers Wheat Beer Sucks. Yes, you heard it first here - wheat beer sucks. Please see my earlier posts on (1) fruit in beer and (2) filtering beer and you can only deduce that wheat beer sucks. Let's review: It's cloudy. That means that it is not properly filtered. It is generally served with a fucking lemon wedge which violates the fruit in beer rule. Two strikes and you are close to out, but you still have some pitches coming your way. the third strike is the fact that it is made of wheat. Wheat? Isn't that for bread and Wheaties? beer is made of Barley, Hops and for us Bud drinkers, a bit of rice. Wheat is not part of it. I appreciate the fine folks that have only wheat to make some beer, and in this I refer to home brewed African beers that use pots of water, old wheat, and wild yeasts to make something, anything, to get a buzz from. I will give it up to someone who has no choice but to make beer from wheat to consume wheat beer, but those of you with a choice should know better... On another note, I would like to give a shout out to my wife who, despite the fact that only one male Charger fan in my neighborhood was man enough to attend, she put out a spread for the aforementioned game and even had a girlfriend over to watch my Raiders get their asses handed to them, again. I was not the cheeriest guy during the game as you may predict, and their recitals of passages from People Magazine during the game did not help. Anyway, I have two more games left on my contract this year, so contact me with games you think would be good for a football party. Thanks Sheri!