Week 10 - AFC West Sucks

Greetings gentle readers

Yes, I have been remiss in my postings the last two weeks. My bad. I sat here once or twice searching for the words in a fashion not unlike John Wayne did in one of the best movies ever made - The Searchers. For those of you who have not experienced what is possibly the best western ever, The Duke's character searched the west for years looking for someone with the hidden intent to kill that which he sought with the intent to destroy it because of what he considered to be an unholy union of opposing cultures. I feel that same thing watching the AFC West now....

How Far We Have Fallen

It was not so long ago that the AFC West was one of the power house divisions in football. Recall if you will that in 2002, when the Raiders went to the Super Bowl, the Chiefs and Chargers tied for last in the division with 8-8 records. In 2003 the Chiefs were on top with a 13-3 record. In '04 the Bolts were 12-4 and the Doncos 10-6. In 2005 it was Broncos 13-3, Chiefs 10-6, and Chargers 9-7. Where are we now?

We all suck. You would be hard pressed to find a team that was in more disarray than the Raiders and yet we are only 3 games out of first just past mid point in the season and we have only won 2 games! Peee Ewww! Is this parity coming home to roost? I don't think so because it has not happened to all the other divisions. I think that it is a wonderful coincidence of suck-iness! At the end of the day, perhaps the rest of the division likes to stay close to the historical leader, the Raiders....

15 Point Favorites Win By 1

What the f@#ck is up with that? Who the hell is making these odds anyway? I have been picking games for over 5 years now in a football pool and have yet to win a week, but I think I could have predicted that the Dolts would not cover that spread! KC is inept. Period. The Chargers should have lost that game were it not for a bad long snapper replacement that made a simple PAT go awry for KC. Even more amazing was the decision to go for two at the end! Herm must have ignored the rest of the game when he made that call because the obvious choice was to go for OT and watch the Bolts go 3 and out and then win the game. Norvy got a break by that decision and the Bolts won. Even those of us that totally subscribe to the "Just Win Baby" mantra would feel a bit ashamed at that win because the underperformance of the Chargers was epic. They are a better team than that!

The Raiders Suck - continued again

I neglected my blogging duties partially because I was busy and partially because I was trying to digest one of the worst performances in my nearly 35 years of Raider Fan experience. Negative 2 yards in the first half - 3 first downs total. Fuck! How bad can a team be? Follow that up with a 6 point effort and now we have nearly 3 games without a TD! I am speechless - alomst! I have a yearning to have "cement shoes" Collins back! He sucked so hard when he was our QB that I never wanted to see him again, but now? Look back to my post in 2006 where I called for big Al to die or go away and all I can say is that this is even more important now. I don't wish death upon the guy, but he really needs to let go and really let go. Until then we will have to wait for the Silver and Black revival.

I can say with confidence that the Raiders will win another Super Bowl before the Chargers win their first....


Farve

This guy is like the obnoxious uncle who imposes himself into every conversation at Thanksgiving dinner. You want to hate him as he is totally past his prime and yet he somehow comes around and hits it out of the park! Its annoying! Brett started out the game with the Raiders with this big "shock and awe" offense and had early successes, just like tonight with the Pats. But Matt Cassell came back in a way that leads me to think that Brady will have to work for his spot next year. The guy threw for 400 friggin yards tonight - and lost! He stayed composed - down 24-6 and brought them back only to have the defense fold in OT and give the game to Farve. UGH*! I don't really like the Pats but the organization is solid - something that Raider fans envy. I admire Brett and have to give it up to him but he fucked up my pick tonight...


Beers

This week is going to be short and sweet. Each of you that reads this needs to support our local - world class brewery - Stone Brewing. Even better, go to the Stone World Bistro and Gardens - you will not be disappointed....

http://www.stoneworldbistro.com/

Oh yeah - I am still boycotting Budweiser American Ale - F@#k those guys! Oh yeah - SQUISH THE FISH!

The World Rights Itself

Last week it seemed as if everything was upside down in the NFL. This week, things seemed to take a more familiar feel - with several notable exceptions. The friggin Colts were one of the major exceptions to the rule this week, and I learned a valuable lesson...

Just Win Baby - Ugly or Not!

After blowing 4th quarter leads in 3 of 5 games, the Raiders found themselves with a stellar opportunity to repeat this 5 year long obsession with suckiness on Sunday. I am sorry that I did not have my phone with me during the game because a work colleague and fellow intelligent Raider fan was texting me about all the ways that we were going to lose the game. His premonitions about prevent victory defense, lame offense, penalties, and the like were all spot on. The Raiders played to form all the way! Let's review:

- 3 offside penalties in a row
- 4 false starts BY ONE GUY
- Dropped interception that hits you in the numbers (1st rnd bust Huff)
- Ineffective offense
- Stupid coaching that calls a time out as the opposing kicker misses the kick that sends it to OT

If that was not enough, the Raiders lost the flip in OT, but Brett Favre was not able to muster his magic from the night his dad died. Sorry, Brett - tossing up junk can't get you to the promised land every time! NY had this fantasy offense that they thought would rule the day, but did you notice that no balls went deep that were caught by Jets? their only deep ball was caught by DeAngelo Hall! Nnamdi Asomough has had like 8 passes thrown his was ALL SEASON! He may not make the pro bowl because there are no highlights because he is TOO GOOD!

Anyway, my favorite part was the 2 sacks put up by rookie Trevor Scott. He made some awesome moves from the outside - looking good. If the Raiders had an actual offense we might be halfway good!

Chargers Return To Form

I know that I have a few Charger fans that read this blog, primarily out of morbid curiosity. Even these fans are wondering - are we for real? Is all the sunshine that Nick Canepa blew up our ass this summer true? It seems it is not. 7 games in and less than one full game ahead of the Raiders - P U ! After looking good against a New England team that was out of sorts (based on Monday's performance), they sucked hard in Buffalo. Let me remind you short memory'd Charger fans that the Raiders also went to Buffalo this year and lost at the last second on a field goal. We led for 59:59 - hmmm...

I am wondering when the rest of you Charger fans will come to accept what I have been telling you here for nearly a year - LT is OVER! If any of you can point to a game where he gained over 50 yards in the first half, I would like to hear about it. He is over the hill, done, over. The whole toe thing is him just milking his contract and the Dolts front office trying to keep seat sales up. One little injury to Rivers and the Charger offense is gone....


I hate Mannings

I wisely put 16 on the Bills, but foolishly put 15 on the shoulders of one Peyton "I love Skants" Manning. It is hard to overestimate my hatred for him because even though I have heaped disdain for him on many occasions in these fair columns, he still plagues me. As soon as I am confident that he is done and gone and stop betting on him, he prospers. Now, after a few weeks of betting against him, he rolls in to Brett-less Green Bay and lays an egg. Fu@#&ck him!

Beers

I am a little upset at Anheuser Busch these days. For months they have done this tease for the new Bud American Ale. Today I even saw a "Coming Soon" sticker at the local 7-11. What the fuck is this? If you want to sell me a beer, give me the beer! Let me drink it! I can understand marketing a movie that people will only go to see once and you want them all there on Opening Night in this way, but if you are looking for me to drink 10 or 20 of these a week, you are just pissing me off by saying that you will have this great beer for me in September but make me wait 6 or 8 weeks more to try it! At this point I am sufficiently pissed to say that this beer sucks no matter what!

Beer drinkers may not be exclusively male, but the vast majority don't want tease ads unless there are strippers involved.

Week 6 - Its an Upside Down World - with special bonus feature - Pat sings Highway Star!

What the heck happened last week? Its as if the entire league went nuts all in the same week! Only the Raiders played with consistency last week - consistently bad that is!

Chargers/Pats

What can you say about this game other than WTF? After looking like total losers in Miami, the Dolts come back and stick it to the Pats like they were the Lions! Cassell is truly a backup - heck, these are the first starts he has ever had - ever. Not in college - not since HIgh School. Lame.

The Bolts looked good- amazingly enough. Rivers is somehow overcoming his bad passing mechanics and weak arm to actually look good. I have never seen someone have so much success with underthrown ducks!

WTF Happened in the NFC Last Week?

Lets review:

Browns Beat Giants
Cards beat Cowboys
Rams beat Redskins

Who would have thunk that any of this would happen? I took it in the shorts on my picks because of these "locks". I guess that's why they play the game.

Raiders Suck - Continued

Lame, Lame, Lame. Drew Brees passed for like a million yards in this woeful effort on the Raiders part. The DBs did OK but they got dink and dunked to death by Brees. Ugly. Friggin Jamarcus needs to get his head on straight and soon as this whole sack and fumble bit is getting old.

If only Al would just die already!


Beers

This week's beers section is not so much about beer itself, but what happens after you have had a few. Following a Charger game a few weeks ago, neighbors Pat and Andy were over with their kids and we decided to play a little Rock Band. Pat had shown an uncanny ability to hit the high note on Highway Star late one night last summer, so we decided to reprise his performance for the kids. Sheri grabbed the camera and the result follows - enjoy!

Week 5 - Of Cider and Men

Sorry for the late issue this week, gentle readers. Just did not get around to this until today! Since I was gone fishing last week I did not consume as much football as usual, but I can assure you that I kept the standard in the beer category!

Bushed

So Reggie Bush runs back TWO punts for TDs and the Saints still lose? At home?? I thought that the Saints were supposed to have this high flying offense? Drew Brees ranked high in all the pundits lists didn't he? Well, apart from Reggie's two TDs they only managed 13 points! I read a report that another pundit expected Drew to have a big passing game against the Raiders this week, but we'll see. I'll put the Raiders secondary up against any team in the league. We'll see what happens!

The Colts Are Done

Thank God for this! Sure, they won this last week, but barely and they are 2-2. I hate Peyton Manning, his father, his brother, and even people named Manning who are not even related to them. Why can't he just get a Theisman and be done with? My only fear with this line of thought would be that were he disabled and taken out of the league, he would just appear in the broadcast booth as a ubiquitous a-hole in my face. I don't know which would be worse. Perhaps someone could sack him and crush his larynx or something.... that ought to do it!

Sitting on the Dock on a Lake

As I indicated earlier, I did not get to watch much football last weekend, but I did catch the Charger game. I was sitting on a dock at Gull Lake, over 7000 feet up in the Sierras enjoying some cold beer and views that were unbelievable. My buddy Mark has a Sprint phone with the NFL package so we were able to listen to any game right on his phone. It was my pleasure to listen to the Charger Homer announcers cringe as the Bolts failed again. I could not see LT pout or limp around, but the images were in my head anyway. That guy is becoming an anchor for the Bolts. Even if he is better at some point, I assure you that he will have lost that little edge that he had to be one half step ahead. Its over for LT.

Sunday night is a big game for you Charger fans. We'll see what team shows up. The only player the Bolts have that is meeting the expectations for him is Rivers so far, but now who will he throw to? Chambers is out. Gates is a mere shadow of himself. I guess that leaves Jackson, hmmm. I think that the Pats only need to play their B game to win this one!


Cider

My younger brother Robert is a self styled master homebrewer. His beers have won many awards in beer competition and since he stopped putting fruit in his beer they are actually quite good. Anyway, while he was not on our trip to the Sierras, he did send along some home brew, a porter and some cider. One of my friends, RIch, who does not drink a lot of beer like the rest of us, exclaimed one night that the Cider was tasty and would be easier on his stomach that gives him gas. He then proceeded to drink a shitload of the stuff, apparently not knowing that home brewed cider has a massive alcohol content.

Rich got shitfaced, and then proceeded to spend half the night and a good part of the morning puking his guts out. I have never seen a guy so hung over! This reminded me of the time a number of years ago when my wife and I tried that Atkins diet - you know, the one with only meat and vegetables. Sounded OK to me - steak for dinner, steak and eggs for breakfast, etc! The only problem was NO BEER. I was forced to move to gin and diet tonic to avoid the carbs. THe problem is that 10 beers is very different than 10 gin and tonics (large ones of course) and I had some of the most massive hangovers and headaches that I have ever had.

I guess those of us who are used to beer know the old saying coined by Country Dick Montana - "Beer Ain't Drinkin'".

For 3 Minutes Less

Week Four is history and it was almost upside down week in the AFC West! This is going to be a short edition today as I am going fishing early tomorrow for four days in the Sierras! I will get right on to the ingurgitation of blackbirds.... 10 In A Row If only the Raiders could have called the game 3 minutes early! Handing a total asskicking to the Dolts for the first 3 quarters just to lose at the end was tough to take - again! At halftime the Chargers were looking like a high school team and the Chiefs had already beaten the Broncos! I was on Cloud 9! As it turns out though, simply claiming in the body of a text message that said message could not result in a jinx is not sufficient to avoid that jinx. The Raiders blew the lead in a familiar fashion, leaving what was a fantastic effort on the part of the defense in the mud. LT got nearly half his yardage on the last TD play and was a non-factor. If he was not such a likable dork, I would hate him! You got it Dolt fans - this time. Now its 54-31, so seven more years and you'll have the lead! Al Davis Must die. Even if he was right about Kiffin, the Silver and Black will not rise until he is out of the picture. Madden - please save us! Word is that Al has someone in mind to take over next year.... Smack Talk it seems that while I hear the feedback verbally from people it seems that this effort reaches more than my eyes, it is clear that this forum is not the place to incite reactions from my gentle readers. Why is this so? I am not sure, but I was guided to the answer while reviewing the decorations on my office upon my return to work Wednesday.

Week Three Recap - The Demise of the AFC

Another interesting week in the NFL has passed with some excellent fodder for those of us who write about such things. The biggest story of the week is the demise of the anointed powerhouses of the AFC, the Pats, the Colts, and to a lesser extent, the Steelers. For you Charger homers I once again wonder just what I need to write about your beloved powder blues to convince even one of you to rebut my statements in this forum. Last week, I called the icon of Charger folklore, LT, a big pussy and not one of you could even take a few seconds to click the comment link and tell me that I am full of shit! I presume that by your silence, I must be right - LT is a pussy. What else could one conclude? The Charger "nation" is full of such weak knee'd, "Dancing with the Stars" loving, girly-men (and manly-women) that you would allow me to trash your team without a whimper! What is up with you losers? Still angry about your overall record against the Raiders (54-40)? Don't know how to type? I took a $5 bet with a Charger fan this week in which I agreed to the bet at the posted spread and the Charger fan in question ( I will spare him the indignity of posting his name here) wanted to shave a point off the spread! What? You Charger fans may think you are hot shit, but deep down, think about it, deep down you know that your team is a loser! Sure, the Raiders have sucked hard over the last 5 years, but at least we had some glory at some point in our history. You are so conditioned to constant failure that you simply have nothing to say - or are afraid to trade written barbs with me. The Formerly Great Patriots I am not sure if this is the right week to delcare this, but why not - the Pats are done! Bill "Viagra" Belichick has done miracles taking team after team deep into the playoffs. hell, his streak goes all the way back to when the Raiders were good. Remember the Tuck Rule play? For you younger Charger fans who think that they got the first bum call two weeks ago, that Patriot team was a good team that got lucky in a playoff game with a bad call from the zebras. They have had a dynasty that put them in the playoffs year after year. It does not hurt to have three truly lame teams in your division, but you have to hand it to them. When the Chargers thought Rodney was too old, they picked him up and he now has a lot of bling on his fingers that he never wound have got with the Dolts. Now, I will say it again, they are done. True, they won a shit load of games in a row but the last two regular season losses have come from none other than Miami! December 2006 and September 2008. Whoa! The big difference is that this last win had a few new features: - They got their asses kicked - in a big way - at home! - Their strategy of taking "veteran" (old) players and making them into stars has finally run its course - Cassell is not Brady - They got their asses kicked - in a big way - at home! I have another prediction - Randy Moss will start to piss and moan before Thanksgiving. This guy only puts out when there is something in it for him. Where I come from this sort of person hangs out on street corners..... Sorry Boss - your Pats are done! Colts and Steelers Ho Hum... These teams look so ordinary it is nearly funny. There is one thing that I share in common with Charger fans - I love to see anyone named Manning suffer. Well we have that joy now in Indy even though somebody needs to shove their knee up Eli's ass and soon! My sack abacus broke trying to keep up with Big Ben's trips to the turf and Peyton will be there soon. Did any of you see the video of the deflation of the old RCA Dome in Indianapolis? Well, as the dome goes, so does the team. Enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sFWoaR03pA&feature=related Chargers Hey! A win! The hapless Brett Farve really should have been reading my blog because if he had he would have hung it up in 2006 as I asked. Other than the early pick, Rivers actually looks competent. Too bad the rest of the team is a bit behind him. Combined with Brett throwing the ball regardless of whether or not someone in a green shirt is nearby, and a few good plays by Rivers, this was a good win - sorely needed! My concern here is that the Dolts still gave up a shitload of points to the hapless Jets. the Defensive Coaching gets to keep their jobs - for now..... Al Davis Must Die OK - I said it. I don't really mean that I want him to die, I just want him to get the fuck out of the way and let some people who are not suffering from dementia run the team! Kiffin may not be the best coach in the league, but he is not the problem here. Al is. The Raiders took the #3 team in the league (according to one ranking site) to the last play of the game on the road! They could have had a chance and the time management at the end of the game was stupifying. Also, the Raiders deployed the same "Prevent Victory" defense that the Chargers have perfected in the first two games of the year. Perhaps they were looking at too much Charger game tape! As you know, I have some sources close to the team. As it turns out, Kiffin and Al have spoken - this week. Al called Layne out on the failure to use the two time outs they had and according to this story Layne felt that they would not have mattered - the D could not stop them anyway. Dead Man Coaching! I respect Kiffin for sticking to his guns, but if this is true he is taking this to a point where the team suffers. It is time for him to go and I have it on inside info that it will happen after the SD game regardless of the outcome. Beers May of my long time readers will recall the many posts that I have made railing against the infusion of anything but beer in beer. Sorry - I like beer and not beer with shit in it! Well last Sunday I drove up to LA for my mother-in-law's birthday in LA (getting there early to watch the Raider game) and we had a BBQ. My kids grandma is a great person with a particular fault - she loves Bud Light Lime! Holy Crap Batman! Lime infused beer? As you know I feel that after trying Miller's version of this I could not conceive of Bud doing it as well. After a long day of familial duties and faced with a hot BBQ and some shitty Pacifico, I decided to try a BLL in the interest of journalistic experimentation. My verdict - it sucks. With that said, it sucks way less than the Miller adventure. You can barely taste the fake lime going down but it leaves quite the aftertaste,although less horrible than Miller's efforts. My suggestion to you idiots that like lime in your beer - take up wine coolers instead. I have one other beer thing to share with you and this is some advice that I got from my boss today and you all should think about what she offers here and take heed: If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $44.00 left. If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left. But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling refund, you would have $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. This is called the 401-Keg Plan There you have it!

Tough Week for the Powder Blues

Week two has come and gone and this is starting to look like last year. Another slow start out of the gate for the Bolts who curiously find themselves behind the Raiders - Again! At least this week we did not hear the snapping of ligaments at quite the same rate as last week...

One more thing - at the bottom of each blog post is a link where you can add your comments. I guess all you Powder Blues must agree with everything I say in this blog because not one of you yellow bellied poor excuses for loyal team supporters has written a word in the defense of your team. Oh, I forgot, your team has no defense....

What Happened to Defense in the NFL?

Take a look at some of the NFL's top teams - SD, Philly, Dallas, and Indy. Between them they have given up an average of 322 yards per game and 25 points per game. LAME! These numbers would be better were it not for San Diego's pathetic defense. In years past I would predict that all of these teams could score their way out of this problem like the Rams used to, but I just don't see it happening. Mark my words, if these teams don't get their D together they will not go far this year!

Did Ed Hochuli Cost the Bolts the Game?

As the recipient of the infamous "Tuck Rule" in the 2002 AFC Divisional Playoff game, we Raider fans can feel your pain out there in Chargerland. Sometimes you get screwed by the refs! But as I have had 6 years to process that snowy game in Foxboro, I have come to understand that the refs can never be given sole blame for a loss. Yes, their actions contribute to the game and in extreme cases like Sunday less informed people might even say that they are the sole blame, but they would be wrong. Here's why Denver won in order of importance.

1. San Diego gave up 31 points in the first half - nice work! Ranked 31st in the league in defense now! These morons cough up an AVERAGE of 5.4 yards per carry and an AVERAGE of nearly 300 yards passing per game. When you suck that bad, don't go blaming the refs

2. San Diego could not stop the Doncos when they needed to. As you may recall, the first interception that Dolt homers claim was not gave Denver the ball at the 29 yard line. The defense then gave up gains of 8, 9, and 10 yards IN A ROW to put Denver at the goal line where they scored. If you had some defense perhaps you could have limited this to a field goal and you would have won the game. By the way, the league has reviewed this call and found that the call on the field would have stood even if the cameras were working so this is a stupid argument for Charger fans to keep talking about.

3. After taking the lead with 4:22 left in the game, Kaeding took advantage of the altitude with another touchback (good game for him for once). The pathetic defense allowed Denver to march ALL THE WAY down the field to be in position to take advantage of Hochuli's error. Hmm, if you were to stop them at any point along the way, its game over. Instead, after one incomplete pass Denver was able to run off plays of 8, 12, 8, 13, 19, and 13 yards - ALL BEFORE The TWO MINUTE WARNING! This is bad defense - don't blame the refs.

4. San Diego could not stop Denver after the infamous call near the end of the game. It was 3rd and goal from the 10 and they scored TWICE in three plays. Hello? Did that last play look at all familiar to you? Looked a lot like the blown coverage up the middle by short d-backs again. If I am game planning the bolts at the goal line I send a tall guy to stand right under the goal posts and its a lock. Again, LAME - don't blame the refs.

I will say that after looking inept and pathetic on offense as well, Rivers actually looked pretty good. Too bad - he could turn into the greatest show on turf like the late 90's Rams and still lose with this defense.


How About Them Raiders??

After looking like shit last week, the Raiders battered the inept KC Chiefs like a red headed stepchild. Using 3 runners, the SIlver and Black put up 300 yards of rushing - the most in many years. McFadden had a coming out party that will be remembered by the Raider Nation for some time. Jamarcus showed that he is indeed a rookie, but with a running game like this - #2 in the league by the way - he will find it an easier way to get his game going. If only Ryan Leaf had such support when he came into the league....

Nnamdi Asomugha was freaking awesome - this guy is a pro bowler for sure. You can bet that nobody is going to be throwing his way for some time...

Ok, OK the Chiefs are bad - really bad. But after losing to each and every AFC West team for years, the Raiders have now beaten the hated Chiefs twice in a row! On the 28th of September, the Raiders face the Chargers to test this running offense against the Powder Blue defense. If the Raiders secondary can step it up, this might not be the blowout that many predict.


LT is a Pussy

There. I said it. It looked like he was getting a friggin pedicure on the sidelines. I am sorry, but after watching him pout during the AFC Fucking Championship game last year, then sit out the entire preseason only to hobble his way around in week one and basically bail on week 2, this is getting old. We saw more of this in soup commercials than in the game - LAME! His toe hurts? What next - roids? Most guys that hobble off but want to play do what men do and go to the locker room where they get shot full of cortisone and other substances that allow them to finish the game and/or season. Is LT such a man - nope. He is now wasting a roster spot and while Sproles did pretty well, that little guy is going to get squished if they go to him as an every down back. As I seemingly correctly stated earlier this year - he is done! Too bad Turner is gone - I bet Spanos is enjoying the fact that he has room on his salary cap, but he won't enjoy losing again and again.


Beers

Good neighbor Pat came across a friggin fantastic IPA from a little brewery in Petaluma called Lagunitas Brewing Company. Unlike many IPAs, this beer was not so bitter that it turned your face inside out. It went very well with football last Sunday, but since the Raiders won and the Bolts lost, everything tasted good! We also had some of their Maximus and it was a bit more robust. For those of you that compare pretty much any beer to Stone beers, these are nearly as flavorful but much less intense, so if you want a great beer and are not quite worthy of Arrogant Bastard, look for Lagunitas.

http://www.lagunitas.com