Beer & Football

Week 10 - AFC West Sucks

2008-11-13T22:34:00.001-08:00

Greetings gentle readers

Yes, I have been remiss in my postings the last two weeks. My bad. I sat here once or twice searching for the words in a fashion not unlike John Wayne did in one of the best movies ever made - The Searchers. For those of you who have not experienced what is possibly the best western ever, The Duke's character searched the west for years looking for someone with the hidden intent to kill that which he sought with the intent to destroy it because of what he considered to be an unholy union of opposing cultures. I feel that same thing watching the AFC West now....

How Far We Have Fallen

It was not so long ago that the AFC West was one of the power house divisions in football. Recall if you will that in 2002, when the Raiders went to the Super Bowl, the Chiefs and Chargers tied for last in the division with 8-8 records. In 2003 the Chiefs were on top with a 13-3 record. In '04 the Bolts were 12-4 and the Doncos 10-6. In 2005 it was Broncos 13-3, Chiefs 10-6, and Chargers 9-7. Where are we now?

We all suck. You would be hard pressed to find a team that was in more disarray than the Raiders and yet we are only 3 games out of first just past mid point in the season and we have only won 2 games! Peee Ewww! Is this parity coming home to roost? I don't think so because it has not happened to all the other divisions. I think that it is a wonderful coincidence of suck-iness! At the end of the day, perhaps the rest of the division likes to stay close to the historical leader, the Raiders....

15 Point Favorites Win By 1

What the f@#ck is up with that? Who the hell is making these odds anyway? I have been picking games for over 5 years now in a football pool and have yet to win a week, but I think I could have predicted that the Dolts would not cover that spread! KC is inept. Period. The Chargers should have lost that game were it not for a bad long snapper replacement that made a simple PAT go awry for KC. Even more amazing was the decision to go for two at the end! Herm must have ignored the rest of the game when he made that call because the obvious choice was to go for OT and watch the Bolts go 3 and out and then win the game. Norvy got a break by that decision and the Bolts won. Even those of us that totally subscribe to the "Just Win Baby" mantra would feel a bit ashamed at that win because the underperformance of the Chargers was epic. They are a better team than that!

The Raiders Suck - continued again

I neglected my blogging duties partially because I was busy and partially because I was trying to digest one of the worst performances in my nearly 35 years of Raider Fan experience. Negative 2 yards in the first half - 3 first downs total. Fuck! How bad can a team be? Follow that up with a 6 point effort and now we have nearly 3 games without a TD! I am speechless - alomst! I have a yearning to have "cement shoes" Collins back! He sucked so hard when he was our QB that I never wanted to see him again, but now? Look back to my post in 2006 where I called for big Al to die or go away and all I can say is that this is even more important now. I don't wish death upon the guy, but he really needs to let go and really let go. Until then we will have to wait for the Silver and Black revival.

I can say with confidence that the Raiders will win another Super Bowl before the Chargers win their first....

Farve

This guy is like the obnoxious uncle who imposes himself into every conversation at Thanksgiving dinner. You want to hate him as he is totally past his prime and yet he somehow comes around and hits it out of the park! Its annoying! Brett started out the game with the Raiders with this big "shock and awe" offense and had early successes, just like tonight with the Pats. But Matt Cassell came back in a way that leads me to think that Brady will have to work for his spot next year. The guy threw for 400 friggin yards tonight - and lost! He stayed composed - down 24-6 and brought them back only to have the defense fold in OT and give the game to Farve. UGH*! I don't really like the Pats but the organization is solid - something that Raider fans envy. I admire Brett and have to give it up to him but he fucked up my pick tonight...

Beers

This week is going to be short and sweet. Each of you that reads this needs to support our local - world class brewery - Stone Brewing. Even better, go to the Stone World Bistro and Gardens - you will not be disappointed....

http://www.stoneworldbistro.com/

Oh yeah - I am still boycotting Budweiser American Ale - F@#k those guys! Oh yeah - SQUISH THE FISH!

The World Rights Itself

2008-10-23T21:41:00.000-07:00

Last week it seemed as if everything was upside down in the NFL. This week, things seemed to take a more familiar feel - with several notable exceptions. The friggin Colts were one of the major exceptions to the rule this week, and I learned a valuable lesson...

Just Win Baby - Ugly or Not!

After blowing 4th quarter leads in 3 of 5 games, the Raiders found themselves with a stellar opportunity to repeat this 5 year long obsession with suckiness on Sunday. I am sorry that I did not have my phone with me during the game because a work colleague and fellow intelligent Raider fan was texting me about all the ways that we were going to lose the game. His premonitions about prevent victory defense, lame offense, penalties, and the like were all spot on. The Raiders played to form all the way! Let's review:

- 3 offside penalties in a row
- 4 false starts BY ONE GUY
- Dropped interception that hits you in the numbers (1st rnd bust Huff)
- Ineffective offense
- Stupid coaching that calls a time out as the opposing kicker misses the kick that sends it to OT

If that was not enough, the Raiders lost the flip in OT, but Brett Favre was not able to muster his magic from the night his dad died. Sorry, Brett - tossing up junk can't get you to the promised land every time! NY had this fantasy offense that they thought would rule the day, but did you notice that no balls went deep that were caught by Jets? their only deep ball was caught by DeAngelo Hall! Nnamdi Asomough has had like 8 passes thrown his was ALL SEASON! He may not make the pro bowl because there are no highlights because he is TOO GOOD!

Anyway, my favorite part was the 2 sacks put up by rookie Trevor Scott. He made some awesome moves from the outside - looking good. If the Raiders had an actual offense we might be halfway good!

Chargers Return To Form

I know that I have a few Charger fans that read this blog, primarily out of morbid curiosity. Even these fans are wondering - are we for real? Is all the sunshine that Nick Canepa blew up our ass this summer true? It seems it is not. 7 games in and less than one full game ahead of the Raiders - P U ! After looking good against a New England team that was out of sorts (based on Monday's performance), they sucked hard in Buffalo. Let me remind you short memory'd Charger fans that the Raiders also went to Buffalo this year and lost at the last second on a field goal. We led for 59:59 - hmmm...

I am wondering when the rest of you Charger fans will come to accept what I have been telling you here for nearly a year - LT is OVER! If any of you can point to a game where he gained over 50 yards in the first half, I would like to hear about it. He is over the hill, done, over. The whole toe thing is him just milking his contract and the Dolts front office trying to keep seat sales up. One little injury to Rivers and the Charger offense is gone....

I hate Mannings

I wisely put 16 on the Bills, but foolishly put 15 on the shoulders of one Peyton "I love Skants" Manning. It is hard to overestimate my hatred for him because even though I have heaped disdain for him on many occasions in these fair columns, he still plagues me. As soon as I am confident that he is done and gone and stop betting on him, he prospers. Now, after a few weeks of betting against him, he rolls in to Brett-less Green Bay and lays an egg. Fu@#&ck him!

Beers

I am a little upset at Anheuser Busch these days. For months they have done this tease for the new Bud American Ale. Today I even saw a "Coming Soon" sticker at the local 7-11. What the fuck is this? If you want to sell me a beer, give me the beer! Let me drink it! I can understand marketing a movie that people will only go to see once and you want them all there on Opening Night in this way, but if you are looking for me to drink 10 or 20 of these a week, you are just pissing me off by saying that you will have this great beer for me in September but make me wait 6 or 8 weeks more to try it! At this point I am sufficiently pissed to say that this beer sucks no matter what!

Beer drinkers may not be exclusively male, but the vast majority don't want tease ads unless there are strippers involved.

Week 6 - Its an Upside Down World - with special bonus feature - Pat sings Highway Star!

2008-10-18T10:29:00.000-07:00

What the heck happened last week? Its as if the entire league went nuts all in the same week! Only the Raiders played with consistency last week - consistently bad that is!

Chargers/Pats

What can you say about this game other than WTF? After looking like total losers in Miami, the Dolts come back and stick it to the Pats like they were the Lions! Cassell is truly a backup - heck, these are the first starts he has ever had - ever. Not in college - not since HIgh School. Lame.

The Bolts looked good- amazingly enough. Rivers is somehow overcoming his bad passing mechanics and weak arm to actually look good. I have never seen someone have so much success with underthrown ducks!

WTF Happened in the NFC Last Week?

Lets review:

Browns Beat Giants
Cards beat Cowboys
Rams beat Redskins

Who would have thunk that any of this would happen? I took it in the shorts on my picks because of these "locks". I guess that's why they play the game.

Raiders Suck - Continued

Lame, Lame, Lame. Drew Brees passed for like a million yards in this woeful effort on the Raiders part. The DBs did OK but they got dink and dunked to death by Brees. Ugly. Friggin Jamarcus needs to get his head on straight and soon as this whole sack and fumble bit is getting old.

If only Al would just die already!

Beers

This week's beers section is not so much about beer itself, but what happens after you have had a few. Following a Charger game a few weeks ago, neighbors Pat and Andy were over with their kids and we decided to play a little Rock Band. Pat had shown an uncanny ability to hit the high note on Highway Star late one night last summer, so we decided to reprise his performance for the kids. Sheri grabbed the camera and the result follows - enjoy!

Week 5 - Of Cider and Men

2008-10-11T07:54:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the late issue this week, gentle readers. Just did not get around to this until today! Since I was gone fishing last week I did not consume as much football as usual, but I can assure you that I kept the standard in the beer category!

Bushed

So Reggie Bush runs back TWO punts for TDs and the Saints still lose? At home?? I thought that the Saints were supposed to have this high flying offense? Drew Brees ranked high in all the pundits lists didn't he? Well, apart from Reggie's two TDs they only managed 13 points! I read a report that another pundit expected Drew to have a big passing game against the Raiders this week, but we'll see. I'll put the Raiders secondary up against any team in the league. We'll see what happens!

The Colts Are Done

Thank God for this! Sure, they won this last week, but barely and they are 2-2. I hate Peyton Manning, his father, his brother, and even people named Manning who are not even related to them. Why can't he just get a Theisman and be done with? My only fear with this line of thought would be that were he disabled and taken out of the league, he would just appear in the broadcast booth as a ubiquitous a-hole in my face. I don't know which would be worse. Perhaps someone could sack him and crush his larynx or something.... that ought to do it!

Sitting on the Dock on a Lake

As I indicated earlier, I did not get to watch much football last weekend, but I did catch the Charger game. I was sitting on a dock at Gull Lake, over 7000 feet up in the Sierras enjoying some cold beer and views that were unbelievable. My buddy Mark has a Sprint phone with the NFL package so we were able to listen to any game right on his phone. It was my pleasure to listen to the Charger Homer announcers cringe as the Bolts failed again. I could not see LT pout or limp around, but the images were in my head anyway. That guy is becoming an anchor for the Bolts. Even if he is better at some point, I assure you that he will have lost that little edge that he had to be one half step ahead. Its over for LT.

Sunday night is a big game for you Charger fans. We'll see what team shows up. The only player the Bolts have that is meeting the expectations for him is Rivers so far, but now who will he throw to? Chambers is out. Gates is a mere shadow of himself. I guess that leaves Jackson, hmmm. I think that the Pats only need to play their B game to win this one!

Cider

My younger brother Robert is a self styled master homebrewer. His beers have won many awards in beer competition and since he stopped putting fruit in his beer they are actually quite good. Anyway, while he was not on our trip to the Sierras, he did send along some home brew, a porter and some cider. One of my friends, RIch, who does not drink a lot of beer like the rest of us, exclaimed one night that the Cider was tasty and would be easier on his stomach that gives him gas. He then proceeded to drink a shitload of the stuff, apparently not knowing that home brewed cider has a massive alcohol content.

Rich got shitfaced, and then proceeded to spend half the night and a good part of the morning puking his guts out. I have never seen a guy so hung over! This reminded me of the time a number of years ago when my wife and I tried that Atkins diet - you know, the one with only meat and vegetables. Sounded OK to me - steak for dinner, steak and eggs for breakfast, etc! The only problem was NO BEER. I was forced to move to gin and diet tonic to avoid the carbs. THe problem is that 10 beers is very different than 10 gin and tonics (large ones of course) and I had some of the most massive hangovers and headaches that I have ever had.

I guess those of us who are used to beer know the old saying coined by Country Dick Montana - "Beer Ain't Drinkin'".

For 3 Minutes Less

2008-10-02T22:32:00.000-07:00

Week Four is history and it was almost upside down week in the AFC West! This is going to be a short edition today as I am going fishing early tomorrow for four days in the Sierras! I will get right on to the ingurgitation of blackbirds....

10 In A Row

If only the Raiders could have called the game 3 minutes early! Handing a total bitchslapping to the Dolts for the first 3 quarters just to lose at the end was tough to take - again! At halftime the Chargers were looking like a high school team and the Chiefs had already beaten the Broncos! I was on Cloud 9! As it turns out though, simply claiming in the body of a text message that said message could not result in a jinx is not sufficient to avoid that jinx. The Raiders blew the lead in a familiar fashion, leaving what was a fantastic effort on the part of the defense in the mud.

LT got nearly half his yardage on the last TD play and was a non-factor. If he was not such a likable dork, I would hate him!

You got it Dolt fans - this time. Now its 54-31, so seven more years and you'll have the lead!

Al Davis

Must die. Even if he was right about Kiffin, the Silver and Black will not rise until he is out of the picture. Madden - please save us! Word is that Al has someone in mind to take over next year....

Smack Talk

it seems that while I hear the feedback verbally from people it seems that this effort reaches more than my eyes, it is clear that this forum is not the place to incite reactions from my gentle readers. Why is this so? I am not sure, but I was guided to the answer while reviewing the decorations on my office upon my return to work Wednesday.

There was a picture of that wedge headed Charger fan guy - the one with the big plastic ginning facemask and pads on. Anyway, the caption was "Tom Kennedy in Drag". There had to be 10 of these posted around my office. After considering this image and caption, and deconstructing the meaning, I think that it was really a call for help from the person who created it. This person clearly did not like the Chargers and was forced along by peer pressure as the following message was contained in the image and caption. Let's Deconstruct:

The picture showed a Charger fan and equated that to me in drag. The following is something I learned in my first Logic class in college:

Man Dressed as a Charger Fan = Dressed in Drag

So

Dressed as a Charger Fan = dressed as a woman

We know that

Man Dressed in Drag = Man who likes men

It follows by inescapable logic then that

Dressed as a Charger fan = Man who likes men

In other words

Charger Fans are GAY!

Voila!

Week Three Recap - The Demise of the AFC

2008-09-25T22:25:00.000-07:00

Another interesting week in the NFL has passed with some excellent fodder for those of us who write about such things. The biggest story of the week is the demise of the anointed powerhouses of the AFC, the Pats, the Colts, and to a lesser extent, the Steelers.

For you Charger homers I once again wonder just what I need to write about your beloved powder blues to convince even one of you to rebut my statements in this forum. Last week, I called the icon of Charger folklore, LT, a big pussy and not one of you could even take a few seconds to click the comment link and tell me that I am full of shit! I presume that by your silence, I must be right - LT is a pussy. What else could one conclude? The Charger "nation" is full of such weak knee'd, "Dancing with the Stars" loving, girly-men (and manly-women) that you would allow me to trash your team without a whimper! What is up with you losers?

Still angry about your overall record against the Raiders (54-40)? Don't know how to type? I took a $5 bet with a Charger fan this week in which I agreed to the bet at the posted spread and the Charger fan in question ( I will spare him the indignity of posting his name here) wanted to shave a point off the spread! What? You Charger fans may think you are hot shit, but deep down, think about it, deep down you know that your team is a loser! Sure, the Raiders have sucked hard over the last 5 years, but at least we had some glory at some point in our history. You are so conditioned to constant failure that you simply have nothing to say - or are afraid to trade written barbs with me. Mike Miller and a few of my neighbors aside, I hereby lump all of you Charger fans into LT's category - YOU ARE PUSSIES! (If this does not do it nothing will!)

The Formerly Great Patriots

I am not sure if this is the right week to delcare this, but why not - the Pats are done! Bill "Viagra" Belichick has done miracles taking team after team deep into the playoffs. hell, his streak goes all the way back to when the Raiders were good. Remember the Tuck Rule play? For you younger Charger fans who think that they got the first bum call two weeks ago, that Patriot team was a good team that got lucky in a playoff game with a bad call from the zebras. They have had a dynasty that put them in the playoffs year after year. It does not hurt to have three truly lame teams in your division, but you have to hand it to them. When the Chargers thought Rodney was too old, they picked him up and he now has a lot of bling on his fingers that he never wound have got with the Dolts.

Now, I will say it again, they are done. True, they won a shit load of games in a row but the last two regular season losses have come from none other than Miami! December 2006 and September 2008. Whoa! The big difference is that this last win had a few new features:

- They got their asses kicked - in a big way - at home!
- Their strategy of taking "veteran" (old) players and making them into stars has finally run its course
- Cassell is not Brady
- They got their asses kicked - in a big way - at home!

I have another prediction - Randy Moss will start to piss and moan before Thanksgiving. This guy only puts out when there is something in it for him. Where I come from this sort of person hangs out on street corners..... Sorry Boss - your Pats are done!

Colts and Steelers

Ho Hum... These teams look so ordinary it is nearly funny. There is one thing that I share in common with Charger fans - I love to see anyone named Manning suffer. Well we have that joy now in Indy even though somebody needs to shove their knee up Eli's ass and soon! My sack abacus broke trying to keep up with Big Ben's trips to the turf and Peyton will be there soon. Did any of you see the video of the deflation of the old RCA Dome in Indianapolis? Well, as the dome goes, so does the team.

Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sFWoaR03pA&feature=related

Chargers

Hey! A win! The hapless Brett Farve really should have been reading my blog because if he had he would have hung it up in 2006 as I asked. Other than the early pick, Rivers actually looks competent. Too bad the rest of the team is a bit behind him. Combined with Brett throwing the ball regardless of whether or not someone in a green shirt is nearby, and a few good plays by Rivers, this was a good win - sorely needed! My concern here is that the Dolts still gave up a shitload of points to the hapless Jets. the Defensive Coaching gets to keep their jobs - for now.....

Al Davis Must Die

OK - I said it. I don't really mean that I want him to die, I just want him to get the fuck out of the way and let some people who are not suffering from dementia run the team! Kiffin may not be the best coach in the league, but he is not the problem here. Al is. The Raiders took the #3 team in the league (according to one ranking site) to the last play of the game on the road! They could have had a chance and the time management at the end of the game was stupifying. Also, the Raiders deployed the same "Prevent Victory" defense that the Chargers have perfected in the first two games of the year. Perhaps they were looking at too much Charger game tape!

As you know, I have some sources close to the team. As it turns out, Kiffin and Al have spoken - this week. Al called Layne out on the failure to use the two time outs they had and according to this story Layne felt that they would not have mattered - the D could not stop them anyway. Dead Man Coaching! I respect Kiffin for sticking to his guns, but if this is true he is taking this to a point where the team suffers. It is time for him to go and I have it on inside info that it will happen after the SD game regardless of the outcome.

Beers

May of my long time readers will recall the many posts that I have made railing against the infusion of anything but beer in beer. Sorry - I like beer and not beer with shit in it! Well last Sunday I drove up to LA for my mother-in-law's birthday in LA (getting there early to watch the Raider game) and we had a BBQ. My kids grandma is a great person with a particular fault - she loves Bud Light Lime! Holy Crap Batman! Lime infused beer? As you know I feel that after trying Miller's version of this I could not conceive of Bud doing it as well.

After a long day of familial duties and faced with a hot BBQ and some shitty Pacifico, I decided to try a BLL in the interest of journalistic experimentation. My verdict - it sucks. With that said, it sucks way less than the Miller adventure. You can barely taste the fake lime going down but it leaves quite the aftertaste,although less horrible than Miller's efforts. My suggestion to you idiots that like lime in your beer - take up wine coolers instead.

I have one other beer thing to share with you and this is some advice that I got from my boss today and you all should think about what she offers here and take heed:

If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would
now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have
$44.00 left.

If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank
all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling refund,
you would have $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment
advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

This is called the 401-Keg Plan

There you have it!

Tough Week for the Powder Blues

2008-09-17T20:33:00.000-07:00

Week two has come and gone and this is starting to look like last year. Another slow start out of the gate for the Bolts who curiously find themselves behind the Raiders - Again! At least this week we did not hear the snapping of ligaments at quite the same rate as last week...

One more thing - at the bottom of each blog post is a link where you can add your comments. I guess all you Powder Blues must agree with everything I say in this blog because not one of you yellow bellied poor excuses for loyal team supporters has written a word in the defense of your team. Oh, I forgot, your team has no defense....

What Happened to Defense in the NFL?

Take a look at some of the NFL's top teams - SD, Philly, Dallas, and Indy. Between them they have given up an average of 322 yards per game and 25 points per game. LAME! These numbers would be better were it not for San Diego's pathetic defense. In years past I would predict that all of these teams could score their way out of this problem like the Rams used to, but I just don't see it happening. Mark my words, if these teams don't get their D together they will not go far this year!

Did Ed Hochuli Cost the Bolts the Game?

As the recipient of the infamous "Tuck Rule" in the 2002 AFC Divisional Playoff game, we Raider fans can feel your pain out there in Chargerland. Sometimes you get screwed by the refs! But as I have had 6 years to process that snowy game in Foxboro, I have come to understand that the refs can never be given sole blame for a loss. Yes, their actions contribute to the game and in extreme cases like Sunday less informed people might even say that they are the sole blame, but they would be wrong. Here's why Denver won in order of importance.

1. San Diego gave up 31 points in the first half - nice work! Ranked 31st in the league in defense now! These morons cough up an AVERAGE of 5.4 yards per carry and an AVERAGE of nearly 300 yards passing per game. When you suck that bad, don't go blaming the refs

2. San Diego could not stop the Doncos when they needed to. As you may recall, the first interception that Dolt homers claim was not gave Denver the ball at the 29 yard line. The defense then gave up gains of 8, 9, and 10 yards IN A ROW to put Denver at the goal line where they scored. If you had some defense perhaps you could have limited this to a field goal and you would have won the game. By the way, the league has reviewed this call and found that the call on the field would have stood even if the cameras were working so this is a stupid argument for Charger fans to keep talking about.

3. After taking the lead with 4:22 left in the game, Kaeding took advantage of the altitude with another touchback (good game for him for once). The pathetic defense allowed Denver to march ALL THE WAY down the field to be in position to take advantage of Hochuli's error. Hmm, if you were to stop them at any point along the way, its game over. Instead, after one incomplete pass Denver was able to run off plays of 8, 12, 8, 13, 19, and 13 yards - ALL BEFORE The TWO MINUTE WARNING! This is bad defense - don't blame the refs.

4. San Diego could not stop Denver after the infamous call near the end of the game. It was 3rd and goal from the 10 and they scored TWICE in three plays. Hello? Did that last play look at all familiar to you? Looked a lot like the blown coverage up the middle by short d-backs again. If I am game planning the bolts at the goal line I send a tall guy to stand right under the goal posts and its a lock. Again, LAME - don't blame the refs.

I will say that after looking inept and pathetic on offense as well, Rivers actually looked pretty good. Too bad - he could turn into the greatest show on turf like the late 90's Rams and still lose with this defense.

How About Them Raiders??

After looking like shit last week, the Raiders battered the inept KC Chiefs like a red headed stepchild. Using 3 runners, the SIlver and Black put up 300 yards of rushing - the most in many years. McFadden had a coming out party that will be remembered by the Raider Nation for some time. Jamarcus showed that he is indeed a rookie, but with a running game like this - #2 in the league by the way - he will find it an easier way to get his game going. If only Ryan Leaf had such support when he came into the league....

Nnamdi Asomugha was freaking awesome - this guy is a pro bowler for sure. You can bet that nobody is going to be throwing his way for some time...

Ok, OK the Chiefs are bad - really bad. But after losing to each and every AFC West team for years, the Raiders have now beaten the hated Chiefs twice in a row! On the 28th of September, the Raiders face the Chargers to test this running offense against the Powder Blue defense. If the Raiders secondary can step it up, this might not be the blowout that many predict.

LT is a Pussy

There. I said it. It looked like he was getting a friggin pedicure on the sidelines. I am sorry, but after watching him pout during the AFC Fucking Championship game last year, then sit out the entire preseason only to hobble his way around in week one and basically bail on week 2, this is getting old. We saw more of this in soup commercials than in the game - LAME! His toe hurts? What next - roids? Most guys that hobble off but want to play do what men do and go to the locker room where they get shot full of cortisone and other substances that allow them to finish the game and/or season. Is LT such a man - nope. He is now wasting a roster spot and while Sproles did pretty well, that little guy is going to get squished if they go to him as an every down back. As I seemingly correctly stated earlier this year - he is done! Too bad Turner is gone - I bet Spanos is enjoying the fact that he has room on his salary cap, but he won't enjoy losing again and again.

Beers

Good neighbor Pat came across a friggin fantastic IPA from a little brewery in Petaluma called Lagunitas Brewing Company. Unlike many IPAs, this beer was not so bitter that it turned your face inside out. It went very well with football last Sunday, but since the Raiders won and the Bolts lost, everything tasted good! We also had some of their Maximus and it was a bit more robust. For those of you that compare pretty much any beer to Stone beers, these are nearly as flavorful but much less intense, so if you want a great beer and are not quite worthy of Arrogant Bastard, look for Lagunitas.

http://www.lagunitas.com

Week One - Some things never change!

2008-09-10T20:35:00.000-07:00

An interesting kickoff week to be sure. There were plenty of upsets and some big injuries. It was great to see real NFL football back in season because preseason games were starting to seem like kissing your sister. Without further ado, here are my thoughts on some notable events in week one:

Brady and the Patriots - Too bad for Tom Terrific and all those who have him as their fantasy quarterback. Brady had 14 fewer points than Jamarcus Russell who had 17 and he's not going to get any more. No, I am not trading! Anyway, he is out for the year and I think that the Pat's will not be as dominant as last year but they were not going to be anyway. They will still likely win their division, but this sure opens things up in the AFC.

Peyton Manning and the Colts - Lame Lame Lame! Peyton's little brother looked so much better it is pitiful. It looks like someone sewed some kryptonite in his friggin undies! He was not confident and indecisive. I think it is directly attributable to not playing in any preseason games. This whole theory that veterans don't need to play in the preseason is bullshit.

The Chargers. You knew it was coming, dear Charger fans. Again, Lame! I don't know who the F*&K is calling the plays there but if LT tries to shove his nose up one more O-lineman's ass, he is going to have to buy them flowers first. When they send him outside he gets big gains, so that offensive genius Norv Turner sends him right at the center's ass time after time. My 6 year old son was wondering what they were thinking! I am not sure about Norv being a genius, but from my experience when he coached the Raiders I can say that he is offensive!

This team is another classic example of sitting their starters in the preseason. They looked totally out of sync in the first half and only started to pull their heads out toward the end of the game. Had they put a few drives in over the last few weeks they would have put 7 or 14 more on the board and probably would have won the game.

Shawn "fairyman" Merriman - I really hate to be right, but last week I predicted that he would be ineffective and 2 tackles total pretty much defines that. I thought he would last only a few games and it was only one. If he was really a team player he would have gotten the surgery a long time ago and been ready to return sometime late this season - for a playoff run that likely won't happen now. He is a friggin moron.

The Raiders - Man did that stink! It seems that the fued between Kiffin and Al Davis/Rob Ryan is in full swing. Rumors have it that Ryan is sandbagging the D to get Kiffin fired. I am trying to get a hold of my source close to the team to confirm this. Anyway, the defense was pathetic - idiotically pathetic. That waste of money named DeAngelo Hall got burned to a crisp by a rookie - LAME! They threw on him all night with ease and there were only 4 blitzes called by Ryan in nearly 60 plays. How dumb is that.

Jamarcus is a total rookie and lost that fumble when we really needed that score. Other than that he did pretty good for a rookie - at least he had no picks. That kid has a friggin cannon, that's for sure.

Anyway, the Raiders played about as bad as a team can play on defense and made just enough stupid mistakes to get totally steamrolled by the fucking Broncos. We'll see this week if it was the Raiders being that bad or the Broncos being that good after we see how many points the Broncos beat the Chargers by.

Favre - Holy Shit! How lucky is this guy? That first TD was awesome - a great play action pass - he still has an arm! But that second TD pass on 4th and long was a total joke. It reminded me of that Monday night game after his dad died and he was throwing that crap all over against the Raiders and they would all fall into someone's arms by total luck. He just basically heaved that ball up as a glorified punt and got a TD instead. Amazing. I think that the lipstick will wear off this pig soon...

Beers

As many of you know my favorite beer is generally Bud Light, with a smattering of beers like Stone Brewing, Guiness, and other meaty beers. So it is with some anticipation that we await the new Budweiser American Ale. The strange thing about this beer is that they have been marketing the shit out of it and we have not been able to find it yet. So, your challenge, gentle readers, is to get out there and find some and post some reviews. I have a strange feeling that it will suck, kind of like Sam Adams light or something like that. With any luck it will be good, but it is unlikely.

Oh, for you who live in San Diego, you really need to go to the Stone Brewery facility in Escondido. It totally kicks ass for a great place to drink beer although the food is a bit foofy for my taste. My only gripe with the place is that you can't get any Stone beer you want on tap at any time. It seems that they only pour from the tap what they are in the middle of bottling at that time or something so if you want Oaked Arrogant Bastard you are more than likely going to get it from a bottle. Sad...

Its a New Year - At Last!

2008-08-28T18:05:00.000-07:00

Greetings gentle readers!

It has been quite a while since my last post. The combination of a lousy Raiders season and my uncle's untimely passing diminished my enthusiasm for the effort. Well, I have been getting some vibes that it is time to blog anew and I am sure that it is that picture of my uncle on the wall behind me that is delivering the message: IT'S FOOTBALL SEASON!

So much has happened since the last post - there is no way I can cover it all. I will just hit on a few high (low)lights:

Brett Favre

What the f*&k is going on with him?? As long time readers will recall, I begged him to retiree before last season. For those of you still blinded by last year's miracle season for Brett, the previous outing in 2006 was dreadful. He was near the bottom in almost every category - he was washed up. He did some of the same "maybe I will, maybe I won't" shit after the end of that year as well and decided to come back - for one more year. OK, I will give it to him - that was a good call as he had a great year. But what a friggin idiot! He could go out almost on top and erase the memory of 2006 from the minds of football fans everywhere. A good deal if there ever was one - 38 years old and riding high.

So he retires, right? Wrong! Even after parades and the rest, the schmuck has the nerve to try to come back. The team was moving on - I don't blame them. They even offered him some $$ to be some sort of mascot or something. He should have taken it. He went to the Jets - the Jets! He is going to get killed out there and the Jets will be lucky to hit .500. All I can say is that this guy is an egomaniac. Pull your head out Brett!

The Chargers, LT and Merriman

If I were a Charger fan, I would have burned my LT jersey in effigy! That little pouty faced baby hurt his wittle knee and sat on the bench pouting. "If I can't play then I just want to go home" was written all over his face. While his teammates were getting their asses handed to them in the playoffs, he can't even root along. Real football players have been seen rooting from stretchers and ambulances, but LT is in his own little world.

Making it worse, he did not even have enough of an injury to require significant surgery! WTF? So now we are about to start the season and he has not seen any action that would require actual contact with other players since he wussed out last year. Do you think that knee is ready for the bottom of the pile? Hmm, let's see.... He is in year 7 of his career I think and RB's last an average of 4 years so.... hey! He's done! I predict that his lack of attention to his injury is going to take that half step that he had on defenses away and he will be a shadow of his former self. Well at least the bolts have Turne...oops!

Worse still might be the biggest idiot in the league, with THE gayest routine in the world, Shawn "my brain could not power a nightlight" Merriman. So he learns last year - yes, last year, that he has not one but two torn ligaments. He piddle paddles along all off season thinking that the magic pixie dust fairy will notice his gay dancing and come by and fix his knee. Well guess what - pixie dust never comes despite his efforts at gay dancing. Now the season is upon him and he is told by 4 doctors that he needs surgery and that playing will certainly make it worse and possibly make it career ending for him. Easy choice for a guy whose contract is up after the end of NEXT season, right? You get fixed up this year - root from the sidelines - and come back ready to go next year. (Of course a real team player would have hit the knife in January and been ready to play in October) What does he say? "I will play until I can't". What a dumb f*&k! Here's my prediction: He will be ineffective, every offensive lineman who has had to watch him do his gay dance over and over will be eyeing that knee, and he won't last but a few games at best. I guess they don't hire guys like him for their brains...

Gene Upshaw

What a loss! One of the greatest Raiders ever! I remember him from when I was a teenager with all that tape on his arms and he was awesome. I must say that this whole Pancreatic cancer thing is bad mojo as a good friend is also dealing with it now. Every one of the idiots like the ones noted above should kiss Gene's ass because he made it possible for morons to become millionaires in the NFL.

Beers

Sad as it may be, Bud is not longer an American company. Sold out they did, making the largest beer maker in the country a foreign owned corporation. I blame George Bush - you heard it here! If the stupid idiot had not gone on a drunken tax cutting and spending binge, perhaps the dollar would be worth something as opposed to nearly nothing now. Makes our big companies awful cheap!

If there is one silver lining, the buyer is the brewer of Stella Artois which is a fine beer. Perhaps one day the dollar will be worth enough to buy the brand back....

Week 14 - Sorry for the Delay

2007-12-05T21:08:00.001-08:00

Yes, it has been several weeks since I last posted. My bad. I don't have any excuses other than a great football and beer man who was very close to me passed away last month and for some reason blogging just seemed to take a back seat for a while. My Uncle John was only a week shy of 56 years old when he passed away of cancer. He and I went golfing and fishing in October - he drove us to June Lake - and there was a lot of beer and football that weekend. John had been diagnosed the week before, so he held off on the beer but consumed copious amounts of football, fishing, and plain old jackassery with the rest of us.

It is strange for me to watch him go. Several of us spent the last few days of his life with him and his kids at his bedside. I even got a chance to watch his last football games with him on the Sunday before he died. He was surprised at just how bad the Eagles and Redskins were that week. As I recall, he said that both teams played like donkey dicks. That about summed it up as this was not the world's best played game - at least during the stretch that we watched. No friggin defense at all - both teams had 100+ yard runners.

Anyway, my Uncle John is now above us, with a beer in hand watching live football all day every day. Actually, I am sure he will toss in some NBL and MLB here and there, but football was #1. I miss him a lot already and will take the avuncular guidance he gave me forward and pass it on.

Now - back to The Blog

Raiders

I gotta start out with the Raiders as this was a notable week for The Nation. Since appearing in the Super Bowl in 2003 - note that date Charger homers - the Raiders have won precious few games against AFC west rivals, with the last win coming in Denver on a snowy Monday night when Ronald Curry made that spectacular catch in the end zone. SEVENTEEN straight losses to division opponents - until now. We have now won TWO STRAIGHT! Yeah now! Off the Schneid!

The Raiders may have squeaked past KC, but this was in KC, until this season a really hard place to win. The Silver and Black handed Denver their asses by 14 points and it sure was nice to run one right up ol' Shanahan's ass! Squeal like a Pig Mikey!

Another Raider development was the appearance of Jamarcus Russel - at last. Coach Kiffin may be just teasing us, but he gave the kid two series' to show his stuff and he did as well as one could hope. His passes looked confident and crisp and I have a feeling that he can throw the ball harder than Brees and Rivers put together. He is HUGE in the pocket and I hope and pray that he lives up to half of his promise.

You heard it here first - the Raiders will beat the Packers in Lambeau. Do you know why? As of today, Brett's hand is still tingling and he does not have his full grip. Aaron Rodgers, who did so well last week, injured his hammie in practice on Tuesday and is out for two weeks. They have no third QB and picked a guy up just now to fill in. I predict that Brett will start to preserve his record, but will not be effective and without Brett (and Aaron) they are sunk. The Raider D will pick off the new guy of he tries to throw and our newly energized run defense with hold off any running attack that the 30th ranked Packers rushing attack can muster.

Chargers

Looks like the Chargers are doing better. Who could have predicted that if you give the ball to #21 you will win games? Not Norv earlier this year. Rivers had a game that on paper looked good, but anyone who saw him play would disagree. Yes, he had a long TD pass, but he looks unsteady in the pocket and really should learn how to properly throw the ball away. He scares me and if I were AJ Smith I would be looking for help in this area. Of course, Aj is an idiot, so he will make more stupid decisions for the bolt fans. The bolts have the division all but locked up, but all it will take is a few bad passes by Rivers to take away the running game and the bolts are sunk.

Patriots

The pats are not invincible. Say that again to yourself and try to make yourself believe it. I think that the Pats have way more than 9 lives, because it seems like they used up a dozen or more on Monday night. Who the fuck called that time out from the Raven's bench? that cost the game. I think that the NFL should revisit that rule as it seems to be distorting games. If you give Brady and Co. enough chances they will kill you every time. The key to winning is to apply pressure to Brady, cover all the hot routes, make sure that you don't get burned in a screen, and hope that Moss has a bad game. If you get all of that Right AND score like 40 points, you have a shot.

Beer
I gotta give it up for my Uncle John on this post, as he was a Budweiser drinker. He was not so much into all the other wacky flavors of Bud (light, ice, dry, etc) and stuck to the Red White and Blue for the most part. He enjoyed many other beers and I have personally seen him drink any number of Mexican beers in our trips south of the border fishing. One of my favorite anecdotes about he and I drinking beer relates to our shared love of astronomy. his house is at about 4500 feet above Palm Desert and the sky there is very dark. From my late teens into my 30's I spent a lot of time out there with our scopes observing, photographing, and generally enjoying the heavens. We founded the Golfing Astronomer Musician's Association during these years as a way to buy more scopes and beer.

Anyway, in the winter it got quite cold out at his house and it was always new moon when we would use the scopes so it was also quite dark. We would run into problems remembering whose beer was whose as it was so dark and we devised a way to tell by turning our tabs one way or the other so that you could identify your beer by feel - even with gloves. I started turning my tab to the left (9:00 position) back in 1982 or so and still do that to each and every of the thousands of beers I have drank since. I do it as a habit that, now that John is gone, will be a silent reminder of him while I drink beer. John always took the 3:00 position and my next door neighbor, with whom I have drank quite a few beers, adopted the 3:00 position 6 or 7 years back. Of course, if you turn it all the way to 12:00, you have a chovie guard, but that's another story.

So if you see me turn my tab to 9:00, you now know where that came from.

Week 8 - The Big Game

2007-11-01T21:50:00.000-07:00

It seems that San Diego is finished smoldering and considering the magnitude of the fires, it all went pretty well. This is except for those unlucky folks who lost everything - that has got to suck mightily. At least LT's running hill was spared....

This should be a somewhat interesting week, even though the focus in pretty much on one game, likely a preview of the AFC championship game. I think that the oddsmakers are being generous to Indy with only a 5 point spread for the Pats. Perhaps the networks want them to keep it close so people tune in to the game even though we all know the outcome. I predict that the Pats will win by over 10 points.

Back to week 8...

Brett Fu@#*)ng Favre - Yes, Denver sucks and Green Bay pointed that out with a W on Monday night. But how about that pass in OT? That guy still has a rocket and he dropped a perfect pass on that long TD play. The only thing that I am starting to regret is that Brett is having a good enough year to consider staying on for another. Brett, if you read my blog, and I know that you do, please take advantage of your current success to go out on top...

Running up the score - I am sure that the Colts felt pretty damn bitchin after rolling over Carolina by 24 points - not a bad display! The Bolts thought it was wimpy and kept their starters in long enough to win by 25. Wow, that's impressive! NOT! both of these teams were shown just how to run up the score by Mr. Fuck Off League, Coach Bellicheck. He won the game by FORTY FIVE POINTS! What? Wow, the 2nd string must have been in the game a while, right? WRONG! Brady played until the lead was 38 points - the 2nd string QB came in with 8 minutes left and only threw 3 of the 41 passes for NE! I think that Bill has a little chip on his shoulder and my guess is that he wants to lodge it up Tony Dungee's ass on Sunday.

The London Bog - what the fuck was the NFL thinking sending a regular season game across the pond? That game was pathetic for a couple of reasons. First, the field was shitty. It seems that bad grass goes along with bad teeth over there. And what was up with the markings on the field rubbing off on anyone who fell onto them? Somehow that does not seem to happen over here. The other shitty part of this game was the fact that the G-Men could not score any points on Miami! Miami people! The Raiders scored 5 , count them, 5 TDs on Miami - in Miami! The Giants are losers.

Daunte is DONE - I just saw on the wires that Kiffin is pulling Daunte, can't score outside of Florida, Culpepper from the starting job. He put McCown back in - hmm, that's encouraging! I agree that Daunte is a bust. He can't see farther than 5 yards downfield it seems and has a tendency to fumble. He also has thrown picks on game winning drives in the last two games. He's done. But McCown? Why not toss the kid in there and see how he does? He has to get in there sometime? I guess since the Raiders are only 2 games out of 1st place in the division, he has some delusions that we have a playoff opportunity. Insane, yes, but for a first year coach you have got to convince the boss (AD) that there is hope.

Beers

This is the time of year when seasonal beers start to appear. My wonderful wife bought some Octoberfest beers recently, apparently because it's October. The beer was passable, but unremarkable. I just don't understand seasonal beer! Do the ingredients in beer have some sort of season that requires them to be produced at certain times of the year? It's not like brewers everywhere wait for that one full moon in autumn to see if the beer flower will appear so they can harvest it's nectar or something. Last time I checked, all beer ingredients are grown whenever and can be stored until needed.

So if the production of beer is not seasonal, should the consumption of beer change seasonally? Should I change the type of beer I drink based on the month or season? Fuck no, I say! This makes not sense, almost like my favorite line when I need to get out of something and I tell the undesired inviter that I have to change the air in my tires to get all that summer air out and put in fall air. Yes, some people just stand there puzzled wondering if they too need to change the air in their tires and wondering how much their mechanic will charge them.

The point is that there are no seasons for beer drinking - every season has its advantages. Summertime begs for icechests full of beer by the pool or at the river. Fall means football, and the only concession that I could give to seasonal drinking is that consumption goes up from September to January on Sundays. Winter beer drinking is when you use the cooler cup to protect your hand, not the beer. Spring brings warmer weather and a return to drinking outside, perhaps in the cul de sac on a Friday night.

So you can keep your seasonal beers. Every season is a good beer drinking season.

Week 7 - All Fired Up

2007-10-26T22:09:00.000-07:00

It has been a strange week here in San Diego, so this week's entry will be brief. The firestorm had direct impacts on me at my work, where the agency that I work for suffered a number of losses and had about 20% of our service area turned to ash. My home was out of harm's way for the most part, although we did get an evacuation warning, but never an order. If this is going to happen every 4 years perhaps we should reschedule it for election year instead - that was the misery of the election season can be punctuated by massive devastation from fires rather than Americans electing a moron to the Oval Office as has happened twice in a row now....

On to football

4th Round Pick - the Raiders shopped and shopped Randy Moss around and the BEST offer they got was a 4th round pick. Hello? This guy is leading the league in nearly every receiving category! I guess if your QB can stand there in the pocket with nary a grass stain on his knee and hurl them up for you all day you have a better chance than on a team that gave up 72 sacks last year. Randy is showing some drive to actually go and get the ball, which was not in evidence when he wore the Silver and Black. At this point the Pats are still unbeatable.

Daunte's Inferno - while it was not all his fault, he gets a lot of the blame for the Raider's loss. It seemed that his vision was limited to 5 or 6 yards down field - every pass was to the outlet receiver from the backfield. The few times he did launch it it worked well - why not do it again, moron? One other thing, as you are driving down for the game winning FG attempt, ball security is not kind of important, it is the only fucking thing you need to focus on. That last pick was a killer.

Beers

I have spent a little time contemplating the right beer for a firestorm and there are a number of factors. How well will the beer wash the ashes out of your mouth? How will it travel with all of your belongings in the back of a truck? What is the availability of more on a moment's notice when people are making a run on the 7-11? Finally, which beer can you drink in sufficient quantity to always have a fire hose in hand, just in case the flames come too close? Based on these considerations, I have ruled out fancy beers and microbrews because they fail in items 2 &3. Bottled beer in general does not travel in as compact a space per unit volume than does cans, so they are out. And when it comes to availability, you got to select what is available at 7-11. The winner (no surprise): Bud Light. Yes, it was rigged....

Week 6 - Just Tackle #21!

2007-10-18T21:48:00.000-07:00

Many things occurred last week that were expected and a bunch of stuff happened that was not - oh wait a minute - it all went as expected! The only surprise was a guy older than me tossing a huge TD pass and then springing up to the arms of an O lineman! While I personally wish some things went the other way, many were perfectly awesome!

Peyton Manning - watching his femur break over and over on tape reminded me of the Theisman incident so long ago. I knew it was gross, but I had to keep watching and watching and watching! It was like that scene out of Fast Times at Ridgemont High - you know the one! It was hard not to watch it over and over and over................ uh - er - ugh - hmmm - oh, that was just a dream! Phew, Peyton is intact and was on a bi (misspelling intended). It is strange for a Raider fan to hate the Manning family as much as Charger fans, but somehow they just grate on me. His non-stop friggin commercials don't help.

America's Team - I am not talking about the Cowboys here folks - it's new England. If you are an undefeated team and you let another team waltz into your stadium and put up 48 points you had better hand over the friggin tiara! I drove past the stadium in Arlington and from where I was looking that place is a shithole - in fact, from what I have seen of most of Texas, the whole place is a shithole! I think that it is time for America's team to move somewhere else!. Wait a minute, most of the greater Boston area is a shithole too! I think that there is room in the East Bay for America's team, since even though they suck they still outsell both the Boys and the Pats in NFL merchandise nationwide. With respect to the Patriots all I have to say is Fuck - Wow - Only several broken femurs can stop them....

Vinnie Fucking Testaverde! I bagged on him last week, or more specifically the team that chose him, and boy did he perform. I saw that long pass and it was sweet! I think he met the DB on that pass in the parking lot because he bailed on that coverage like a whore in church. Hey, a win is a win - let's see how long 43 year old bones can take the pounding!

Vikings - I never thought I would be writing about the purple menace, but I have to lay it out for Adrian Peterson. Where the heck was the much acclaimed Chicago defense? I gotta say that this guy is the best RB that I have seen come out in some time, and the last will be mentioned later. He's a rookie and he is leading the league in rushing - in Minnesota! Who would have guessed The Vikes have a losing record (take that Steve-o) but if they canput some players around this guy, they may have something.

NEWS FLASH - Cincinnati officially sucks! The only thing worse is the NFC East. Other than the Pats, the remaining 3 teams have a COMBINED TWO WINS! The Raiders have won the same number! It's no wonder the Pats get into the playoffs all the time...

The Saints - Drew Brees is dusting off his shittiness (is that a word - it fits if not) and they are starting to look like the just might have a chance at possibly coming around. I think I hedged like a presidential candidate there. Seriously, they had a nice W last week and did not look like dog shit as they had every other week. I felt so bad for them as the City was rising on their tide and it was looking like they were going to need to have some FEMA bags on their heads again....

the chargers - yeah, I am here to take it - the bolts beat the Raiders again - 8 in a row. FUCK. Did I say FUCK? Oh yeah, I did. Just tackle # 21. You got that Rob Ryan, defensive fucking genius? Just tackle # 21! Just tackle # 21. Just tackle # 21. Game over! What else do they have? Gates - perhaps. .....(sound of crickets chirping).... There's nothing but LT people! Sure , AJ brought in a new guy from Miami who drops more than he catches, but that is next week! Culpepper just fucked the dog here but Ryan and the defense should shoulder most of the blame. I gotta hand it to Norv - LT set him straight in their little talk - "give me the ball Norv or I will run your head so far up AJ's ass you will see Al Davis again"! FUCK! Asses kicked again!

Beers

Wheat Beer Sucks. Yes, you heard it first here - wheat beer sucks. Please see my earlier posts on (1) fruit in beer and (2) filtering beer and you can only deduce that wheat beer sucks. Let's review: It's cloudy. That means that it is not properly filtered. It is generally served with a fucking lemon wedge which violates the fruit in beer rule. Two strikes and you are close to out, but you still have some pitches coming your way. the third strike is the fact that it is made of wheat. Wheat? Isn't that for bread and Wheaties? beer is made of Barley, Hops and for us Bud drinkers, a bit of rice. Wheat is not part of it. I appreciate the fine folks that have only wheat to make some beer, and in this I refer to home brewed African beers that use pots of water, old wheat, and wild yeasts to make something, anything, to get a buzz from. I will give it up to someone who has no choice but to make beer from wheat to consume wheat beer, but those of you with a choice should know better...

On another note, I would like to give a shout out to my wife who, despite the fact that only one male Charger fan in my neighborhood was man enough to attend, she put out a spread for the aforementioned game and even had a girlfriend over to watch my Raiders get their asses handed to them, again. I was not the cheeriest guy during the game as you may predict, and their recitals of passages from People Magazine during the game did not help. Anyway, I have two more games left on my contract this year, so contact me with games you think would be good for a football party. Thanks Sheri!

Week 5 - Raiders in 1st Place!

2007-10-11T21:48:00.000-07:00

Yeah, it is a cheaply won title, due in large part to our bye week, but mostly to the stupid play of the Doncos. But it has been a few years since us Raider fans have been able to say that and depending on what happens on Sunday, it may be a while again. You know, you don't have to come in first in your division to win a Super Bowl as the Silver and Black have proven in the past.

I spent the weekend drinking beer and fishing in the Sierras and our TV coverage was weak, so I did not even watch a single complete game - shocking isn't it. It was pointed out to me by others in attendance that I could watch any game on the NFL network during the week, but could not get back out on that boat on June Lake from Escondido. We got periodic updates, but essentially missed most of the games completely. I am certain that this won't happen again this year.

Here's my recap of selected games:

Cowboys - This game I actually did see most of and I have to say that the friggin 'boys are about as big a pretender as any team that has ever stumbled their way to 5-0. How many complete fuck ups can your QB do and you still win the game? Granted, if you play a team whose offense could not get past the Escondido High School JV team, perhaps you have a chance. the worst thing was the friggin MNF announcers who had their lips planted so tightly on the Bill's collective sphincters that they really looked stupid when Buffalo lost, because they had already anointed the Bill's rookie QB as the next coming. Granted, he did OK for a newb but get your tongue out of his ass Kornheiser, or is that why you got that name?

Carolina - OK, you are 3-2 but you are killing off QBs faster than Ricky Williams snaps bong loads. This is the team that brought David Carr on board from the Texans where he was sacked like one BILLION times and now he gets injured? Has Carolina taken QB abuse to a new level? OK, fine, you need a new backup....let's see, who should we look for. I know, how about Vinnie Fucking Testaverde? There are people who can legally drink in all states that were born AFTER he left college! The guy was drafted in 1987! He is older than me! Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over? I heard that Marino said he could still chuck a ball, and since he is now on Weight Watchers he may be a better choice!

Chargers - It seems that LT had a little sit down with the Norvinator and told him how the dog wags the tail, or at least that is how it was reported in the SD Union tribune. I don't know about you, but any time your RB needs to get the Coach into a closed room to tell him to give the ball to the NFL MVP all I can say is it's time for a new Coach! Even though I had wished for a tie game, I would have taken some satisfaction watching Shanahan squirm on the sidelines getting kick after kick to his balls (if I could get only one shot - I would prefer to put shortie on a stool so I could get proper extension as I sent his prostate a little gift from his scrotum). Sorry, I digress, but that guy pisses me off in a big way! I hope to see his season go down in ruin.

I know some of your Raider Haters who read this are looking forward to this weekend as you expect the FIRST PLACE Raiders to lose big to the Chargers, but get a grip. Last week was an anomaly - you got lucky with a bad Denver team. Let's take a closer look: The first drive I will concede - not too shabby, but the second touchdown was a gift on a special teams play. At that point Jay Cutler had to Throw and you got a pick and it was all downhill from there. Good win for you, but when you add that to the collapse - at home - against KC, I don't see this as a trend.

The Raiders are coming in a bit hobbled as two defensive linemen, Gerrard and Burgess, will not play. But Dominic Rhodes will be there and Culpepper will certainly look to hit some slants as Donnie Edwards is not there to tackle anyone. Some dumbass on my football pool posted a poll wondering how big the point differential will be and the lowest number is 21 - I can assure you that if the Raiders do not win, and I think that they will, the will certainly cover the spread which varies between 9.5 and 10 at this point.

Beers

Something happened the other day that surprised me. I know that I like Bud Light and that it is generally better than Coors Light and Miller Lite, but I never really expected the lesser two beer brands to throw in the towel and merge! When you get down to it, are these beers really that different? Sure Bud Light is best, but Miller Lite has more taste....oh yeah, more BAD taste. OK, I will give you that - Miller Lite tastes bad, but certainly their advertising campaigns could make up for that - you know the ones with the More Taste League commissioner appearing as people try to drink? Oh yeah, that was stupid too. Well you would think that Coors Light would do better, even though it is not as good as Bud Light, right? C'mon, how about some marketing to overcome the foul taste of beer that should be refrigerated at all times that the 7-11 clerk left out in the heat? How about the SECOND year of stupid jokes on coaches by fake spliced in hecklers from the press corps - now that's funny - once - last year.

You have read here on a number of occasions how I prefer Bud Light over all for day to day consumption, but I thought I was just a guy with a preference, not predicting the need for all other major brands to gang together because they just can't compete. I think that this is bad overall, because without competition the commercials can only get worse......

Week 4 - Well What Do You Know?

2007-10-03T22:28:00.000-07:00

We are at the quarter pole folks and things are getting interesting. Certain things that seemed to be plain out of place are starting to solidify into trends. Some of us are pleased while others are left to scratch their heads. All in all it makes for some good entertainment! Some of my thoughts on the week:

Patriots - while they kept it close initially, the Pats did what they always do and adjusted their game to take it to their opponents in the 2nd half. This is what you call coaching - start off with a game plan, make adjustments based on your opponent's reaction to your plan, and kick some ass! (Norv Turner has no idea how to do this, but that is no surprise). These guys are 4-0 and have outscored their opponents 148 to 48 - a difference of 100 points! This is incredible as the next highest total difference is the Cowboys at 79 and nobody else is even close. The Chargers you ask? they are -34, having been outscored handily by powerhouses such as KC.

Packers - I really must take a moment to make a retraction of a post that I did last year about Brett Favre where I told him to retire. He ignored me as he always does (he never returns my calls!) and has shown that he still has some game left in him. Crap, that guy can deliver a ball fast. I mean, one second the ball is in his hand at his side and the next it is 30 yards down filed stinging someone's hands. Fast, decisive action is needed to get the ball where it needs to be in this league and Brett certainly has it. Whether the Pack can continue beyond 4-0 is uncertain, but they are a scrappy team.

The Eagles - Hmmm, eggs in a carton, jurors in a room, months in a year, sacks of McNabb last week. What do all of these have in common? the number 12! Twelve fucking sacks? And one guy got 6??? I have not seen pass coverage this bad since the Charger line basically gave Ryan Leaf up to the wolves because they did not like him. Perhaps Donavan has pissed off his O-line or something because I don't think that the Giant's defense is that good as they now have a grand total of 16 sacks for the year. Hmmm, Donavan spouts off, has a good game, and then gets crushed. I am not sure what to make of it, but I am sure that time will tell on this one. One thing for sure, the Eagles will not see the postseason.

The Raiders - You knew it was coming, and here it is! The Silver and black have now equaled last year's win total at the quarter pole mark with a nice ass kicking in Miami. Little Layne Kiffin finally started Culpepper and he showed that he is a winner. He did not have to throw much as the Raiders #1 ranked running game took care of Miami's weak defense handily. He did show that his knee is fine and made sure that the fans in Miami knew it after his second of three rushing TDs. It was nice to see Jerry Porter haul in a few scores as well because if he is on he will rival Moss in talent (if someone simply throws the ball to him accurately). From where I sit, I think that the odds when the Raiders come into SD in two weeks will be much closer than bolt fans would like.

Chargers - Wow- what a fucking disaster! I knew the the norvinator was bad, but this is pathetic! His inept play calling has highlighted the weakness of San Diego's offense. What weakness you say? The glaring weakness that is the fact that unless LT has his hands directly on the ball you are screwed. Period. The facts for this argument are present in abundance. Even before Norv inexplicably withheld the ball from LT in the second half the Bolts only managed a meager offensive output - at home - against fucking KC! Watch out when Dominic Rhodes rolls down there with the Raiders, hungry for yards after a little league mandated vacation. I think that we may even see a little pissy slap fight on the sidelines between LT and Rivers if this keeps up! I also have one more prediction: At some point on Sunday, the TV cameras will pan over to Turner and he will have a look on his face like he is trying to remember where he left his car keys, or whether he wanted to order tofurkey or salmon for his thanksgiving day dinner.

Beers

I got a bit of feedback from last weeks comments about yeast in beer. Most agreed with me that it made the experience of drinking the beer less than agreeable if not totally fucked. One commented that it increased his flatulence, sometimes to uncomfortable levels. A few however, challenged my manhood and one went so far as to say that Sierra Nevada is meant to be drank straight from the bottle and those who decant it are wimps. All I have to say to that is go right ahead dumbass and suck up that yeast - just keep your gassy self away from me!

I will be fishing in the Sierras with some other jackasses this weekend and will probably have one or two beers - okay, maybe more than two! It will be nearly freezing the entire time, so in addition to the copious quantities of Bud Light, I think that some Guinness will be in order. Guinness is something that I really came to love during my 10 day stay in Ireland in 2005. When poured correctly, there may be no better beer. People think it is heavy, but it only has 10 more calories than a bud Light per serving. And it is so fucking good. Some people think that you can't drink it as an all day (night) beer, but millions of Irish can't be wrong. I can attest that you certainly can drink it just like an American "light" beer, but you need to be at a keg to do it. The Guinness that they sell in bottles ought to be thrown back into the sea and the stuff in the tall cans, while passable, cannot rival a properly poured pint from the tap. Most places don't do it right as it takes two passes to fill a pint and about 2-3 minutes of time. Can you say "Car Bomb"?

Week 3 - That yeasty taste

2007-09-27T22:57:00.000-07:00

Another interesting week in the NFL. Some things change and others stay the same, but the things that are changing - OY! Alas, gentle reader, you may get an impression that I somehow favor one team over another in this blog. If this is the case, how right you are. It is, after all, my stinking blog!

Patriots - impressive again. I am not sure what can be done to stop them besides the cruel fate of injuries. I seem to recall LT getting bruised ribs at the bottom of a pile a few years back - perhaps some of this could be applied to the Pats....

Eagles - and here I was writing off Mr. Piss and Moan Because I Am Black McNabb. His comments are stupid and proves that he was frustrated by his shitty play. Frustrated enough to shake it off and throw for a bunch in a 56 point outburst! Nice game, to be sure, but here is a prediction: He will get banged up and won't finish the season in this form. At that point he will become embittered and become a racist. Again.

Indy - Yes they are 3-0 but not in the same way as the Pats. A bunch of 2 point wins against people that they "should" kill does not impress me. These guys are beatable and we will see how they do against the AFC West. Oh yeah, I hate friggin anyone named Manning. Even nuns named Manning, actually especially them because they get a chance to take a new name once they take their vows!

San Diego - What can you say about this. Hmmm, how about looking back at my post from this spring about the dumbasses named Spanos and Smith. I watched that play that won the game for the Packers and knew right away that had Donie Edwards been in the play it would have gained 10 yards max. It seems that Smith and Co. complained that his tackles (that led the team for 5 years) were too far off the line. Hello shithead - at least he tackled them! Now it seems that the Bolts will do without tackling at all. Boy that sure works good! Once Donnie works over the bolts this weekend (I predict 5 solo tackles and an pick), the Bolts will have been beat up by Edwards, Harrison, and Seau - all of whom were considered to be expendable. I'll save the stuff on Norvenstein for another post as that is much funnier.

Oakland - first off the Raiders are tied with the Chargers - take that! It seems that young Lane Kiffin learned a few things in Denver when Shanafuck stole the game. He learned how to steal a game using a bogus time out AND he finally pulled shithead McCown out! For God's sake - why did he wait so long? What did Daunte do to him? McCown has small yardage numbers, few TDs, and boatloads of picks PLUS two bum feet. Yet - it was a W - the first since late October of LAST YEAR! We can only go up from here and look for an upset in Miami!

Beer

Charger fans - do you know that shitty taste in your mouth? Well that is the taste that you get from a boatload of yeast in your beer. Yes, yeast is indispensable in the making of beer. I have used it to great effect in my own brewing efforts. But it belongs in the brewing process and not in your beer. I LOVE Sierra Nevada - LOVE - but I will not drink it from the bottle because these purist fuckheads can't bring themselves to filter that yeast out because they want to finish the beer in the bottle. Please - save it for the beer snobs. You know the type - the ones who write shit like this into Beeradvocate.com describing Fat Tire Ale:

Poured a clear, light copper color with a good amount of carbonation and off-white head. Decent lacing. Aroma was rich and malty with a fair amount of biscuit and caramel. Hops were definitely secondary. Fruity, plum-like scent. Medium body. Spicy fruit flavor with plenty of sweet malt. Floral hops were in the background. Mouthfeel was about average. Well balanced. Could use a little more pizazz. Quite drinkable, though, and could be a good session beer, particularly at restaurants with limited beer selections.

What the fuck is that? Is this queer describing beer or flavored condoms? C'mon, "Mouthfeel"? "Gee Frank your crotch smells lovely, like biscuits and caramel - are you using a new wax?" What is a session beer? To me a session needs about 20 beers!

Beer should be filtered of the yeast before being presented to the drinker. Period.

Week 2 roundup - of mice and men (and beer)

2007-09-18T06:59:00.000-07:00

Wow - now that was an interesting week. You think that you have this game figured out and then, wham, everything goes upside down (except the Patriots - more on that later). There are a lot of 2-0 teams that nobody would have predicted: Green Bay, San Francisco, heck even Washington! How about these at 0-2: Eagles, Giants, Rams, and Saints! This could be getting good... here's a recap of some of the games:

New Orleans/Tampa Bay - Boy Drews Brees looked crappy again! To get your ass handed to you by Chuckie and the gang (who probably last put up 31 points sometime in the last century) is embarassing for a supposed NFC contender. Drew Brees looked so bad that he rivaled Philip Rivers in offensive futility. It might be time to get a new stock of paper bags, Saints fans...

Oakland/Denver - All I have to say is that it's good to be the home team and have the ref in your pocket. Damn - the Raiders WON this friggin game and then lost it. My 20 seconds of joy was worth it, though because Oakland came into a tough place to win and performed well - Lamont Jordan rushed for almost 160 yards! I think that young Lane Kiffin finally got an offensive line together in Oakland! McCown threw some stinkers that could have sealed a win - I think he has to go but apparently Daunte called Kiffin a cracker or something so he is stuck on the pine.

Washington/Philidelphia - I think that the days of McNabb are coming to an end. He threw so poorly last night that he could give Brees and Rivers a run for their money in bad passes. If you are an NFC contender, you DON"T LOSE YOUR HOME OPENER! At least not to fucking Washington. Brett Farve may have to lead the NFC to their eventual ass kicking in the Super Bowl.

Now my favorite - San Diego/New England - There were some that placed the bolts at the highest echelons of the AFC - right up there with Tom and Peyton's team. Well you can put that one to bed. the Chargers stunk it up on both sides of the ball and Rivers was pathetic. Add to that the abysmal performance of the running game - LT is ranked 39th in rushing so far this year - note that there are only 32 teams so more than one team have TWO players that have run for more than LT! Heck, Lamont Jordan is #4! I remember with great pain the days when the Silver and Black had dumbshit Norv Turner plodding on the sidelines. He got outcoached so badly that even with the other team's playbook in hand he would have gotten beat!

Beers

A day like Sunday was a day for Bud Light. Yes, I know it is a recurring theme, but for a sustained day of football and beer that extends into the night game, it is the best choice. I did toss in a nice Newcastle Brown between the afternoon and evening game, savoring the near victory of the Raiders - hey at least we didn't get blown out.

Week One roundup and Fruity Beer

2007-09-11T07:07:00.000-07:00

So it turns out that some things change and others remain the same. I guess that is a maxim to live by and it certainly applies in the NFL. Here are some things that have apparently changed:

- Drew Brees - WTF happened here? He went from stud last year to looking like a deer in headlights rookie! He threw some of the worst passes I have ever seen! Perhaps his lakc of skill was magnified because right after another Brees groaner we would see Peyton whip out a missile right on target, but seriously - he looked BAD. I hope for his sake that this is just opening day jitters....

- The Chiefs - We knew that they would not be as good as last year, but losing to Houston, like that? You saw it on my earlier blog where I pout them at 7-9 and I think that this was being generous! I think that if they keep this up they could give the Raiders a run for their money for last place!

Some things that have not changed:

- Peyton and Tom - man these guys looked good. It is hard to imagine how any AFC team (all of whom could beat any given NFC team) could beat these guys. I pity the fool that has to play these teams. I guess the only thing that the rest of the league could hope for are injuries because otherwise this is a lock!

- The Raiders - yes, as it turns out they still sting, losing at home to the Lions. Hey, but Kitna was hot right? It was sad - why did they start McCown rather than Culpepper? The offense did have a pretty good day (if you ignore the turnovers that killed the game) - McCown was # 3 in passing in the league and the Raiders lead the AFC West in points scored (and points given up). Jamarcus has agreed to a deal so when the Raiders are 1-8, he may get a touch or two...

Fruit in beer

I recently came across some Miller concoction that has lime juice already squirted in the bottle of beer. I can think of no abomination greater than this, well maybe a few: warm Coors, Guiness in a bottle, etc. First off - DONT PUT FUCKING FRUIT IN YOUR BEER! I mean, it's beer people, not some sort of springtime fruit platter! If you like fruit, take up drinking wine coolers or something and then go hem your skirt, because it is riding up your fat butt! So if adding fresh lime to your beer isn't bad enough, this beer has some sort of premanufactured lime concentrate squirted into the bottle on the assembly line. Nice touch! Thanks for that refreshing squirt of CItric Acid and sodium benzoate friend! Can you toss in a little dog shit while you are at it!

It's the MOST wonderful time of the year......

2007-09-02T12:37:00.000-07:00

Greetings!

It's that time again and football is right around the corner! The long wait is nearly over - God I hate baseball (except in October). Why can't they just move right to the playoffs in baseball for Pete's sake!

I would like to make my predictions on the AFC West at this time. We can all look back at this prediction in January to see how close I got.

Chargers

Norv Turner will find it hard to repeat the 12-4 record of a year ago. Even though the AFC West is pitted against the very weak NFC North in interconference play this year, I still think that a record of 10-6 is about as good as they will do this year. Sure, Phillip Rivers is maturing and the offense is solid, but I think that Jammer and company will let too many big plays down the field and they will lose a few games over this.

Kansas City

With a respectable 9-7 finish last year, I see the Chiefs losing a step this year. Priest Holmes is gone, and they are being led by Damon Huard of all people with another unknown backing him up. One injury and this is a team that is heading downhill, regardless of Herm's efforts. This is an 8-8 team at best.

Denver

these guys could be the real deal this year if Cutler lives up to his promise. I think that they have shown the ability to get it done over the last few years and may just come out on top. Mike Bell will be a guy to watch. I predict that they go 11-5.

Raiders

This is a big question mark, but with the easy NFC North the Raiders should get more than the two wins of a year ago. Perhaps bringing in another new young coach will make the difference like it did when Chucky came in and took the Raiders all the way to the Super Bowl (one season after he left). Jamarcus will not play a snap until at least November at this rate but Culpepper looks good from his play in the preseason. the Raiders defense will continue to dominate and if they can get any offense at all, they will win some games that they lost last year. I predict at least 2 wins in conference and a record that will be about 7-9. Take THAT!

Beers

We are having a Labor Day block party today and it is around 100 out and the humidity is uncharacteristically high. On a day like this there is only one answer - ice cold Bud Light and lots of it. There is no other beer that I know of that will keep you cool in these situations as well. Coors light and Miller Lite are just bad and this can be proven by checking the ice chest that was equally stocked with each at the end of the day. Invariably the Bud Light is all gone and you are left with the swill.

Cheers!

Spring Musings - WTF Spanos?

2007-05-14T20:26:00.000-07:00

Greetings patient readers!

After taking a few months off, I am back in gear. No stories to tell of my failure to post new material - I would attribute it to a combination of laziness on my part and the fact that football season was over!

Over the last few months there have been a few interesting football developments:

1. Chargers Management Implodes - Seriously, could this have been handled any worse by Spanos/Smith? I understand that even though he brought a team from 1-15 to 14-2, Marty had to go. Don't ask me why, but the Chargers, like most San Diego teams, have a need to implode when faced with success. So you decide to get rid of Marty, but have two excellent candidates in the assistant coach positions. In most places, the smart money keeps as much of the coaching team intact and promotes one of the assistants to head coach. Makes sense to you and I but Smith/Spanos decided to do the stupidest shit possible and screw the whole thing up. First they dis Marty with a 1 year deal, sending the message that his time is limited but also letting the assistants know that they would need to look elsewhere for a promotion. Then by the time these dumbasses figure it out and can Marty, its too late - most of the coaching staff is off to greener pastures. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over!

To make it even worse they hire Norv Friggin Turner as Marty's replacement! What? This guy has an awful head coaching record - take it from me he SUCKED in Oakland! Sure he did some OK stuff with Dallas - about 15 years ago! I just can't see how these series of moves by Smith/Spanos does anything but destroy team morale and will certainly lead to worse on field performance this season. I think that 10-6 would be lucky this year for the bolts in their new, even gayer uniforms.

2. Al Davis Still Can't Hire an Experienced Coach - I've got underwear almost as old as Lane Kiffin! 31 years old for Christ's sake - he was born in the 1975! Al just can't attract coaches that are any good - look at the last few - Shell, Turner, Calahan - not the A list there! I think that the lack of a GM hurts the team when the Good Humor Man is at the reigns.

With that said - the kid does present some interesting experience at USC. He may be the right kind of coach to get the best out of Jamarcus Russell - we'll see.

3. Randy Moss goes for a 4th Round Pick - I guess this smug golden boy is not so golden when all the Raiders could get for him is a 4th round pick. That is pathetic! Good riddance I say - that guy is a cancer on a team.

4. Ricky Williams Can't Back Away from the Bong - Ricky, Ricky, RICKY! What the F*** are you thinking you idiot? Let's see here...millions of dollars OR bong hits? Hmmm, tough question - NOT! This guy is so stupid that he can't even figure out how to use a masking agent for his tests. What a moron! I think that the NFL should ban him not for drugs but for sheer stupidity.

Beers

Good neighbor Pat came by yesterday (yes we were drinking beer on Mother's Day). He stopped in with one of the best beers anywhere but certainly the best that is brewed here in North County San Diego - Stone Brewing's Ruination Ale IPA. This stuff is so friggin good it is ridiculous! Nicely hoppy and satisfying, I recommend this beer to anyone but Coors Light drinkers as they like piss more than beer. For those of you who want insane hop qualntities, go for Stone's Arrogant Bastard - you are not worthy!

Of Playoffs, weddings, and beer

2007-01-18T21:45:00.000-08:00

Well, it was a wild weekend here in San Diego County! Regrettably, I had to follow the game on my cell phone during a wedding service. That's right, my wife's brother decided to get married on a Sunday, in football playoff season! When I arrived at the location for the wedding, I found that there was a TV upstairs that we could use and notified my brother in law that I may or may not be there for the service. He granted me this as apparently the date was not his idea.

Anyway, I was able to get one or two beers in before the actual wedding and was not able to stay upstairs for the service as doing so would have caused me much more grief back at home. I sent a text message to one of my neighbors who kept me posted on the game via text message during the ceremony. I had my phone on vibrate so nobody saw the score updates, although my wife gave me the stinkeye until her phone blared right before the bride said "I do" with a loud Austin Powers ringtone! My ability to receive messages was not in question after that!

After the ceremony we had to go take pictures - and the game was still on! We went to a waterfall on the grounds of the development for the shots but I guess nobody checked in advance because it had huge icicles on it and the little pond was frozen over! I lobbied hard to get our shots done quickly and then literally ran back to the car and made it back to the venue with 3 minutes left in the game.

I don't know what the friggin Chargers were thinking, but they blew this one badly. I had continued to receive updates on the score so I knew it was tied, but when I got there and saw Brady with the ball I knew it was over. I think that he is the second coming of Joe Montana; not the best arm and mediocre stats, but he can sure win a fucking game when he wants to. If you let them stay close he will roll you over and give you the high hard one every time.

The worst thing was watching Rivers try his 2 minute drill (1:05 drill actually). What is up with a few short passes over the middle? Hello! No time outs left folks. Either throw it outside and get out of bounds or throw it away. They probably would have done better on a draw play to LT - seriously! The Pats were hanging back there looking for these passes outside and gave them 5 yarders over the middle - and Rivers bit on it! I am here to tell you that if Drew Brees was back there this game would have played out differently and the bolts may still be in it. Thank you AJ Smith!

If I were a Charger fan, I would be bitter. As a Raider fan, I had no expectations this year - I knew that I would be out of it all the way. But for the bolts to put together such a great record and then fold in their first game - at home - it is quite a sting! C'mon Chargers, what the fuck? You only gave the rock to LT 8 or 9 times in the SECOND HALF! Hello? Did they not see his stats all year?

So I would like to recommend to my Charger fan brethren the bitterest beer in America - Buffalo Bill Brewing's Alimony Ale. It is not actively being brewed anymore, but apparently if you look hard enough you can find a bottle here and there. It is musty and old, just like the last Charger playoff win, so it fits the bill nicely here. It will leave a bad taste in your mouth...

Nothing Good Happens at 3 AM - Red Drak

2007-01-04T20:09:00.000-08:00

Well another NFL player has tragically proven this adage to be true, with his life being taken in the wee hours of the night. Sadly, he apparently did the right thing and left the scene of an altercation but ended up dead anyway. This is in contrast to idiots like Foley who careen about hammered out of their heads and cause trouble.

I just don't know why these guys, with all of their money, need to take their posse and go out on the town acting like morons. From Ray Lewis to friggin Seabass, there is a long list of NFL players who just can't seem to stay away from trouble, especially in the middle of the night. I guess if someone plopped a few million in my lap when I was 23 years old I would go a bit off the deep end, but back then a bad altercation was a short fist fight. Now these hoodlums have machine guns! The stakes certainly have changed.

Perhaps I am getting older, but I am having an increasingly hard time thinking of anything really good that happens well after midnight. Here's a list of bad things that generally occur:

- Hangovers - bad ones
- Damaged vehicles, homes, etc
- Ill thought out comments
- Lost possessions
- Pissing off the wrong guy (or girl - ouch)
- Arrest
- Sleeping in unfamiliar places
- Strange injury that you just can't recall receiving

Perhaps some of you have some other fuzzy recollections of things that have happened to you in the wee hours.

Now for some beer talk. There is one beer that I had last year that will definitely get you into trouble. There is a brewer in the Czech Republic called Starobno that brews this stuff called Cerveney Drak, or what we called Red Drak. This stuff comes in a bottle that has a bottle cap that you open will a pull ring. The bottle cap splits down the middle. It is really strange. My father in law brought over a case a while back as I am not sure where you can get this stuff.

This beer is not especially strong at 6%, but it seems to have some sort of psycho-tropic qualities. My neighbors and I each had a few and noticed a particularly different buzz for some reason. I continued to drink the stuff and later that night I checked off a few of the items on my list above. Needless to say my wife has asked her father never to bring that stuff around.

With that said, I do think that you should try it if you find it. Just be warned in advance that it may cause mayhem later. After all, if it weren't for the potential for mayhem, much of the fun of drinking beer would be lost....

John Madden to take over Raiders?

2006-12-27T11:01:00.000-08:00

I had a chance to speak to one of my longtime football friends who is well placed in the sports scene in Oakland. He had recently attended a function that was also attended by many well placed persons surrounding the Oakland Raiders organization. Needless to say, I won't be giving any names here so this post should be placed in the rumor category..

Anyway, according to my source, one of the reasons that the Raiders have done so poorly of late is not interference from Al Davis (as I had previously reported) but the exact opposite. Mr. Davis' health is declining to the point where he is not in full control over the organization as he has for decades. He no longer attends practices, which is a big change for arguably the most involved owner in the NFL. His absence has left a power vacuum in Oakland that several individuals are exploiting for personal reasons to the detriment of the franchise. This may be the type of activity that Coach Shell alluded to a while back.

Anyway, Al's son apparently has no interest in taking the reigns from his dad so the team needs to find someone else to run the ship. This is where it gets interesting. According to my source, there are high level negotiations going on between the Raiders and John Madden about Madden taking over the team from Al Davis. You heard it right - friggin John Madden running the Raiders. Sound impossible - perhaps but there are some reasons that it may be true:

- Al and John go way back and John has always stayed involved with the Raiders

- John has been travelling by bus week after week all over the country for years and years as a broadcaster and perhaps we wants to stay put somewhere for a little while.

- John would be a very charismatic owner and could probably entice top notch coaching talent back to the Raiders in a way that Al could never do.

You take this for what it is - a rumor. But if this pans out, you heard it here first!

Now for some beer talk. I guess in the spirit of Al Davis, only one beer comes to mind and it is from right here in San Diego County. Stone Brewing's Arrogant Bastard Ale is about as hard core as beer gets. Even their web site mocks the drinker - here is an excerpt from the conditions that you must agree to just to get to the Arrogant Bastard page:

In consideration for the permission to view the Arrogant Bastard Ale pages, I indemnify the publisher, the service provider and the Stone Brewing Co. from any insults, insecurities, and ego damages incurred by the viewing or retrieving of such materials by me.

If you have ever had this beer, you know that it packs a whallop! One of the reasons that I compare it to Al Davis is their motto:

Hated by Many - Loved by Few

Stone Brewing has many other fantastic beers that may be more suitable for most of you out there. Myself, I can drink the Bastard, but only one or two per evening because apparently I am only partially worthy...

Christmas Beer and Christmas Luck

2006-12-26T07:36:00.000-08:00

Play like dog crap and still win - I guess that is the moral of this story! Denver did not play a really bad game, but they let the Bengals drive down to tie the game in the last minute - at home! C'mon, that is the Raiders stock in trade - giving in to opponents in the 4th quarter! But to win the game on a botched PAT - that is the definition of luck as the success rate for PATs in the NFL is around 96%. I guess you have got to back your way into the playoffs somehow......

The real killer was the Charger game. Philip Rivers once again had made Pro Bowl Voters wonder what they were thinking as he looked TERRIBLE! Once again, LT saved his bacon with a big first half run (did he look tired to you too?) and set up his one and only pass completion of the first half. Yeah, yeah, it was for a TD, but god he looked bad!

So then the Bolts are trailing the whole way to the Seacocks in a very hostile environment. I can personally attest to the noise in that place as I went up there for the Raiders debacle. Those people in Seattle are either insane or drink way too much coffee because I wanted to put my fingers in my ears it was so loud but since I had on Raider colors and was being mercilessly harassed I did not want to pour fuel on the fire for the drunk asswipe behind me.

Anyway, somehow the receiver gets wide friggin open - what the hell happened to the safety - and Rivers hits him for the go ahead touchdown. The images of Rivers running down the field bewildered that he had completed the pass tell it all - dumb luck. Seems to be a lot of that going around for the bolts this year - watch out because that shit don't fly in the playoffs!

Now for some beer talk. Being the day after Christmas I want to reflect on a strange artifact of the beermaking world: Christmas Ale. I see this pop up every year in stores. Some wacked out micro (or not so micro) brewer comes out with his version of "Christmas Ale". Invariably, this means that the beer is "spiced" with ginger or some other shit. What the fuck?? Why ruin my beer by putting something like that in it? If you were holding a ping glass of regular beer and I walked up and dumped some random spices into it would you drink it? Hell no, you would kick me in the nuts and get another glass!

I mean, guys don't like spiced or otherwise altered beer - period. If you are male and you like spiced beer, I would take a closer look between your legs because what you call a dick is actually just an illusion - you are a GIRL! My younger brother began brewing beer some years ago and his first batches had everything but the fucking kitchen sink in there. Cranberries, pumpkin, nutmeg - what the fuck? This beer tasted like a disaster and was intolerable. Thankfully he has seen the light and now just brews with water, malt, and hops - phew!

So if you found yourself humming a merry Christmas tune while sipping a spiced beer from a holly decorated Christmas glass this year, let me know and I'll put you on my list for a subscription to Ladies Home Journal for next year.

If you think you know of a Christmas beer that is worthy of consumption, post a comment and let me know....

Brett - PLEASE RETIRE!

2006-12-23T07:41:00.000-08:00

Well Brette Favre won what really should be his last game at the fabled Lambeau Field the other day. That is about the best line he is going to get in this post because it was a stinker! Take the win Brett, the leap into the arms of teammates, and go home. I mean the score was 9 to 7 for Pete's sake and he really looked bad doing it. Even after this performance he still says he is thinking about having another shot at it next year. Hey Moron, look at the writing on the wall!

What does he stand to gain by playing another year? He does not need the money - heck I am sure he gets more than the rest of us just from DVD Sales and rebroadcasts of 'There's Something About Mary". Add to that all the countless frozen brain cheeseheads with life sized Brett posters on their walls and Favre jerseys on their backs. Somebody needs to sit him down and show him some film from earlier this year to jog his memory and if he does not decide to retire on the spot, they should put him in a straightjacket!

My guess is that when he is sitting in his film viewing room making his decision, he is going to pull out that game from Monday night against the Raiders a few years ago, you know, the one after his Dad died. That game was fucking incredible - and I am a Raider fan! He was under a lot of pressure and throwing into very tight coverage and somehow threw several balls that could only be described as perfect to beat the crap out of the Raiders. It was really something to watch - I have to admit the guy has a frigging cannon on his arm!

But at the end of the day he is already one or two seasons past where he should be out of the game. If he could speak, he would follow smarter quarterbacks into the broadcast booth, but alas I think that the years of eating pork rinds and chewing tobacco, along with some nasty shots to the head, have diminished his communications skills.

Now for the beer. I have been musing about what type of beer best fits my vision of Brett at this stage, and it has to be a really stinky beer with a bad aftertaste. My previously mentioned Caguama is well above this level, so it stands clear of this stench but there are a couple of candidates:

- Tecate - I live about 90 minutes from the brewery in Mexico that makes this putrid crap and My thought is that if we really want to seal off the border we should start there. Have you ever had a not-so-cold Tecate in a can? UGH! Total crap. I mean, if you have to shake some salt and squeeze some lime into your can of beer you really ought to find another beer.

- Heineken - Some of you dingbats out there may disagree with my thoughts on this beer because it is marketed as some sort of uber beer from Europe that is for the upper levels of society. What total fucking dribble that is! Have you smelled one of these skunk pots before? All I know that when I was learning how to brew beer there were a few rules - never use green bottles and if your beer smelled like a skunk it had gone bad! A friend of my wife brought over a 6 pack some time ago and left 5 of them in my garage fridge. Every now and then I would be out of my staple beer and would decide to give one a try. Upon opening the stench takes me aback every time but the taste - what could be worse? Each and every bottle was poured out into the bushes, for which they have not forgiven me yet!

- Iron City Ale - Sorry Steelers fans, this beer is SHIT. I was in Pittsburgh on business and pulled into the airport bar and said, when in Rome drink as the locals do. The bartender said that Iron City was everyone's favorite. Well it tasted like A can of Tecate that had been soaked in cat piss! I could not finish the damn thing. A few months later when back on the East Coast, one of the locals convinced me that it must have been just that keg at the airport and bought me another. WRONG - same thing, a frigging putrid wasteland of beer. My guess is that people in Pittsburgh must have mouths full of iron slag in order to stomach this crap!

Do you have a least favorite beer? Click the comment button and let me know. Perhaps we can take the top choices and have a taste, or should I say gag, test to see what is the worst major label beer out there.

The Raiders really stink

2006-12-21T10:36:00.000-08:00

I guess this needs to be revealed - I am a lifelong Raiders fan. Yes, bring it on, I can take it. We are about as bad as bad gets, at least on the offensive side of the ball. While the Raiders defense is top ranked (#4 in the NFL) our scoring production looks like it will end up under 200 points for the whole frigin year! There are not too many teams that can boast of this acheivement which was most recently accomplished by both the Browns and Bengals in 2000.

Aaron Brooks can run from the rush all right, but he seems to throw picks at the most inopportune times. This is not to say that there is a better time than others to turn the ball over, its just that these guys seem to always kill themselves when they could actually put a drive together.

A couple of games, specifically 3 AFC west games found the Raiders in the lead in the 4th quarter. The stupid Raiders found a way to blow each of those lead and lose by a combined total of less than 2 touchowns.

So what's the deal? I have a few opinions:

- Tom Walsh was pathetic at offensive coordinator. I flew to Seattle to watch the Monday Night game and it was a horror to watch. He would send 2 and 3 wideouts streaking down the field on long routes while the pocket collapsed. There was no short option for passing. Every football fan could see that this was a horrible concept and that it was doomed to fail, yet he kept on doing it. Why, you ask? Ask the man in the white jumpsuit!

- Randy Moss is a quitter. There were many instances where you could tell that he was just not trying. When the game was lost in KC on that interception in the end zone, he just stood there with his hands at his sides while a defensive back stepped in front of him and took the ball. Hit the guy for christ's sake! Try to go to the ball! If Randy does not have the ball dropped right in his hands he just gives up. ANybody want to trade?

- Art Shell is a nice guy - well respected by the players. But what the fuck is he doing? He seems to just stand there and let the game roll over him. I do not see any fire in his demeanor. He seems resigned to losing and I think that the players feed on that attitude on the sideline. Yell a little bit - look interested - do SOMETHING!

- I hate to say it but Al Davis' time has come. Yes, he is in the hall of fame and yes he has 3 rings, but I am confident that he is one of the main causes of our demise. He is super knowledgeable on football, but I think that his mind is a bit gone. He also is way to involved in the day to day, and even play to play, running of the team. I would bet that he instructed Tom Walsh to call those plays - he thinks we can bring back the Mad Bomber! Well those days are over - long gone. The only coach worth a shit that we have had for about 20 years was Chuckie. Chuckie only came over because he was so young that Al was the only guy who would give him the head coach job. No other coach worth his weight in dog shit would touch this job because Al will always be calling in from his booth telling him what to do. Al, step aside, and take Amy Trask with you. We need to recruit winning coaches and until Al dies or goes away we will be screwed.

- Robert Gallery is officially a bust. How many sacks can this #1 draft pick give up - it seems limitless! I say we dump him and his stupid long hair.

There is so much more that I could puke out about the Raiders, but I will spare you for now. It's time to talk about beer. Since I have finished off the Caguama, I am moving back to my day to day beer, Bud Light. Yes, beer purists, Bud Light reigns in our neighborhood. Why? Because it is good, cheap, and you can drink it all day. I bought some beer the other day at essentially the same price that I paid in college back in 1982! Inflation be damned! I will devote another blog post to the merits of Bud Light and to all other wonderful beers as this is a discussion that can go on for some time.

Caguama and the Chargers

2006-12-20T15:34:00.000-08:00

Well, the in laws were in town the other day and as usual I got a special delivery from my Father In Law. He works for a beer distributor that handles imports. Yes, I know what you are thinking - "you married the daughter of a beer distributor?" Yes I did and it has worked out fine and over the years I have gotten over my inability to marry a woman whose father owned a brewery. I look at it this way, at least as a distributor he provides me with more variety in beers.

Anyway, the other day he brought over a 30 pack of beer called Caguama that comes from El Salvador. This is supposed to be a Corona style beer, and comes in cans. Further research after the fact indicates that you can get this beer really cheap - under $15 for a 30 pack - in selected stores. Apparently, the Caguama is a term for a turtle. I don't know what knucklehead thought that relating beer to turtles was a good idea, but perhaps that's why El Salvador does not rule the world.

I broke into these beers after I had a few of my more standard beers and I must say that the flavor was not what I expected. I had expected some sort of nasty taste with an aftertaste that follows you around like a wet dog, stinking up the place. Along with my drinking partners, we found that there was a distinct lack of flavor. We proceeded to pound about 20 of them while watching the Charger game on Sunday night.

Later in the week, I had the opportunity to try another, this time without the benefit of any sort of pre-comsumption beers. This time, the first taste gave me that familiar nasty taste that we all come to expect from bad Mexican beer. Yes, I know this is El Salvadoran, but as I recall during the Rodney King riots the Mexicans blamed all the looting on El Salvadorans, so at some point I think that they are behind this beer as well.

Well it took some effort to get that first one down, but I did. The next 5 or 6 got progressively better (who would have thunk). I found that the colder these were the better so they all got some freezer time before opening.

I would have to say that of all the wacky beers that he has brought me this one was better than a fair number of them. At least it will be drunk rather than tried and thrown out. I would not buy this beer unless I was in dire straights, stranded somewhere and this was the only option. Perhaps if I am ever in El Salvador I would try it again, but my guess is that they only make this shit for export (a la Fosters) and laugh at foreigners who come down asking for it. I would think that I could buy Bud pretty much anywhere in El Salvador so it would be a moot point anyway. Heck, I bought one in the Guinness Brewery in Dublin, so I figure I could get one anywhere!

Yeah, the Chargers won, despite Rivers trying to throw the game. It is amazing what LT can do for a team. He has not only carried the team into the playoffs, he has carried Rivers into the Pro Bowl as well. There is no way that guy gets in on any other team!

One other note of caution. While we have only anecdotal evidence, it seems that after three of four Caguamas, everybody had the urge to take a shit. I can't say it was the beer per se, but maybe they should rename it Cacaguama instead! Or better yet, perhaps the name "Turtle Head" would be more appropriate!

Welcome to Beer and Football

2006-12-19T12:59:00.000-08:00

Greetings football lovers who also love beer! This blog is dedicated to those of us who enjoy copious quantities of each! This may have been only a football blog, but it seems that I spend about as much time with beer (or maybe more) than football. Beer also has no season, so my promise to you is to try and report on many beers during the slow football news months of the year.

I also have a team of like minded people who will contribute with me as you don't really want to hear my opinion all the time - you will want some other lunatic to weigh in from time to time.

This space will be filled from time to time with pointed thoughts on both topics, including:

- My thoughts and comments on the happenings in football, primarily the NFL
- Ramblings, diatribes, and other thoughts on beers and how much we all love them
- The random comment or post on our wacky world at large

I offer no guarantees of timeliness, but I often have strong opinions to share - just ask my wife! As a cautionary note, please know in advance that this blog will contain language that is not for the feint of heart from time to time - it seems that there are some things that are just better said with profanity!

I will post a number of topics in rapid succession this week as the NFL season nears its end and beer is just so wonderful around the holiday season, or any other time for that matter.